AP News January 1, 2012 11:29am EST.
While everyone else was watching the ball drop in Times Square, drinking, and partying, employees at Home Depot, Walmart, Dollar General, Sears, and millions of other stores around America were hustling to remove all the 100W incandescent bulbs from the store shelves, while specially trained FBI agents with oozies stood outside the doors of these stores to insure compliance. These underpaid store employees sweated profusely in the race to get these most dangerous, energy wasting light bulbs off the store shelves, and into locked and guarded steel security vaults, where they will be escorted by armed guards as they are hauled to the U.S. border to be shipped to foreign countries for sale and consumer use.
These overworked store employees worked early into the morning for their measly minimum wages, and were forced to work that late shift, or lose their jobs. Most did not complain, since they knew they were working to make America a better place and it was their patriotic duty to their country. Officials estimate that of the stores that opened on New Years morning, 97.624% of these illegal lightbulbs had been removed off the shelves, while armed agents in civilian clothing searched the stores looking for any remaining bulbs that may have been hidden under displays, in restrooms, or in dark storage areas in the rear of these stores.
So far, there have been no arrests or shootings reported. However, many more stores will reopen their doors on Monday morning, and it is at that time when Federal agents will have to insure 100% compliance with the new ban on 75w, 100w, and larger incandescent light bulbs. It is at this time, that these agents will have their fingers on the triggers of their weapons and may have to use brute force against the managers and employees of the stores who are not yet into compliance, since these employees and employers have had the entire 24 hours of New Years day to accomplish this task.
It's estimated that enforcement of this ban is going to cost the U.S. Government 730 billion dollars of taxpayer money, and will consume some 146 million barrels of oil to transport these agents to all stores in the country.
Of course all of this will save energy use by the American consumer, while increasing the income of medical professionals who treat eye injuries, who will be busy dealing with the estimated 3,500% increase in eye strain injuries. This does not take into account the millions of persons who will become ill or lose their lives from ingestion of mercury from broken compact florescent light bulbs.
We as Americans should praise our government for their persistence and efforts in saving our valuable energy resources and the average $3.59 each and every one of us will save on our yearly electric bills. Above all, the praise should most be rewarded to former president, George W. Bush for creating this law.
Dong Wang - reporting