In the eye of hurricane Katrina, Michael Smithe was cooking an Omulet
in his New Orleans kitchen. Suddenly the omulet came to life and
jumped out of the frying pan, hitting Smithe in the face and knocking
him unconscious on his kitchen floor. The omulet then crashed thru
his kitchen window and was sucked out into the atmosphere by the
This omulet was just discovered by the American Red Cross next to a
section of collapsed levee in the city. It is believed that this
omulet caused the collapse of that levee and charges have been filed
against Smithe. However, Smithe has been unable to defend himself,
since he was found near death on his kitchen floor six days after
Katrina destroyed the city. Smithe was not only extremely dehydrated,
but suffers severe facial damage and has lost his eyesight as a result
of the omulet smashing into his face.
Smithe was able to briefly write his story on a piece of paper after
receiving surgery, telling doctors what caused his severe facial
damage, and ended by writing these words "Never trust an omulet, they
are dangerous and must be avoided at all costs".
This story was just released by the doctors at the request of Smithe's
family, who feel that his message must be told to the world, and they
said that they are extremely sorry that their father was the cause of
the worst disaster in US history, but went on to say that Michael was
never a very good cook, and he did not do it intentionally. They
asked for forgiveness and said that they are asking the Lord for
Ralph Garcia - Wild News International
It's not Toltec, except possibly by contamination with
pre-columbian european travellers of some sort.
An omulet is a OMIN detector. It measures the amount
of "OMIN" in a cloud system. Most people can get at least
an approximation of the omin content of a cloud by eye,
but an omulet is a more objective measure, and far more
accurate and reliable.
("OMIN" is an indo-european root-word meaning pretty much
the same thing as it's modern american cognate "Oh, MAN!".)
Since this was a really ominous cloud system, this particular
omulet manifestly overloaded and failed catastrophically,
which means that it measured the amount of OMIN perfectly
The storm was, after all, KATastrophic.
:: In the eye of hurricane Katrina, Michael Smithe was cooking an
:: in his New Orleans kitchen. Suddenly the omulet came to life and
:: jumped out of the frying pan, hitting Smithe in the face and
:: him unconscious on his kitchen floor. The omulet then crashed thru
:: his kitchen window and was sucked out into the atmosphere by the
:: hurricane winds.
BATON ROUGE, LA. - The White House announced today that President Bush
successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more
double its original selling price of $11,250,000.
"This is a bold step forward for America," said Bush. "And America
stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with
Prime Minister Jack Sharaq, who was so kind to accept my offer of
in exchange for 25 million dollars cash."
The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of
dollars to rebuild.
"Jack understands full well that this one's a 'fixer upper,'" said
and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water,
make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they've got a lot of
to do. But Jack's assured me, if it's not right, they're going to fix
The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents
"Shuba-pie!" said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. "Frafer-perly
kom drabby sham!"
However, President Bush's decision has been widely lauded by
"This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President," said
Majority Leader Bill Frist. "Instead of spending billions and
billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we've just made
million dollars in pure profit."
"This is indeed a smart move," commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume.
only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we've made money
The money gained from 'T'he Louisiana Refund' is expected to be
pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.
No thanks. We don't want them. They never were Canadian. They were booted out
of Acadia because they couldn't be trusted not to keep their word not to
attack the American Colonies. They were evicted 100 years before Canada became
Hmmmmm. I'll have to think about this. It just might work. If sold,
those conservative screwballs in Shreveport couldn't keep trying to
take the spice out of New Orleans' hot sauce.
And if the sale could be extended to the Louisiana Purchase, think of
all those wuthless red states that we'd git shut of. But I don't think
France could handle Kansas and Montana. I suspect they might try to
sell them to Iran where fundamentalism is a way of life.
I've had this idea of getting rid of the many politicians in Washington by
combining states. Do we really need 100 senators? Let cut it in half or
more. There won't be any North and South anything. Just make one big
Carolina. Same with Dakota, but toss in Nebraska too as no one pays much
attention to it anyway.
Delaware and Maryland hardly take up any space so combine them with the
Virginias. New Jersey has become a suburb of New York, so split it and give
the other half to PA. Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, Colorado makes a nice box
of a state. You get the idea. Now we double the number of citizens
represented by House members and effectively cut that group by half too.
Can you see the streamlined efficient Congress now?
HomeOwnersHub.com is a website for homeowners and building and maintenance pros. It is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here.
All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.