Introducing "DEATH ALERT". An innovative space-age technology.
"I've fallen and I WON'T get up".
You've all heard and seen the commercials for "Life Alert", where they
always say: "I've fallen and I cant get up".
Death Alert© is different. It alerts you that all bodily functions have
stopped, and you've fallen and I WON'T get up, ever again. In other
words, it tells you that you're DEAD.
Everyone needs one of these. Only $19.99 plus shipping, handling,
processing, manufacturing, packaging, inspecting, stamping, delivery,
and applicable taxes.
Order yours today!!!!