OT Humor:Truth is stranger than beauty

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a quart of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. He said, "You must be single."
The women, a bit startled but intrigued by the derelict's intuition, looked at her six items on the belt. Seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
[Just thought you all needed that... :-)]
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There are two fish in a tank.
What did one fish say to the other?
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Do you know how to drive this thing?
Barry
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Sheeit, John, why didn't you warn me? Pass the kleenex.
Bob
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Well that one made my wife come running in to the room. ;~)
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