(This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car,
fuond four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.
She dropped her shoppingbags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream
at the top of her lung, I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get
out of the car!
The four men didnt wait for asecond threat. They got out and ran like
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags int
the back of the car and got into the drivers seat. She was so shaken
that she could not get her key into the ignition.
She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It ws for the same
reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two
12-packs of beer in the front seat.
A few minutes later, she found her won car parked four or five spaces
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the nearest police station
to report her mistake.
The sergeant to who she told the story couldnt stop laughing.
He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were
reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less
than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large
No charges were filed.
Moral of the story?
If youre going to have a senior moment . . . Make it memorable.
Many years ago my grand mother came to town to visit. She lived in a tiny
town of about 500. She and my mother went grocery shopping. My grand
mother got tired and told my mother that she was going back to the car and
would wait for her. You guessed it, my mother did not find my grand mother
at the car but did find her several cars down in a "similar" car patiently
I very often drop my wife off at the door of the establishment she
wishes to terrorize and park in some shady spot to wait for her. I
once watched her come out of the place, walk to a similar looking
vehicle as ours, open the door, and get in. I couldn't tell who was
more surprised; her or the guy who was sitting in the driver's seat
waiting for his wife.
Would that she only did it once...
One time I came out of the grocery store, unlocked a beige Volvo
wagon, and put the key in the ignition. I was sitting there trying to
figure out why the ignition wouldn't turn when someone knocked on the
Turns out that it wasn't _my_ beige Volvo wagon, it was someone else's
and mine was several cars down. The weird thing is that my key
unlocked the door but not the ignition.
A coworker and I once discovered, at about the same time, that my Ford
van and his Ford sedan were identically keyed. As controllers, we both
worked rotating shifts, of course, and were on different crews, so it
was not uncommon for one of us to come in for a later shift than the
other for relief (figuratively, although sometimes actually, since we
worked in the same area).
For a few weeks after our discovery, we would have to look all over
the parking lot for our respective ride as it seemed hilarious to both
of us to move the others' vehicle before clocking in. Of course it
wasn't nearly as funny after a mid shift...
We tired of it after a while. After all, it wasn't that big a
property. Besides, we weren't that stupid--if Mark came in on a shift
after me, I knew I needn't bother heading to where I'd parked at the
beginning of the shift.
I've had that same experience. Years ago, driving the family car to
"Junior Achievement", I _inevitably_ ended up parked next to another
guy in the company who's family had a virtually identical car. It
didn't matter where we parked, or who got there first, practically
every week we ended up side-by-side. With _poor_ lighting in the parking
area. White 1967 Dodge "Coronet" sedans with a maroon interior. Again, the
keys would open the door, but not work the ignition.
The first time I got into the "unstartable" car I began to figure it out
when it penetrated that the odometer read wrong.
Both the other driver and I learned to pay _real_ close attention
to the license plate numbers. (both plates were 5-digit numbers, 3 of
which were matching, with the 4th being a 6 vs an 8.)
It's a heavy burden, but one someone must bear. If we display gullibility
by letting these urban myths go unchallenged, who knows, one day politicians
might be tempted to be less than truthful with us, and imagine what a
horrible world that would be. ;^)
Well THIS one's absolutely true - because I did it.
There's a little chinese take out place about a half mile from
home. One rainy evening, after dusk, I stopped in on my way
home to get some take out. My windshield defroster wasn't
working well and the windshield was fogging up if I kept the
While waiting for my food I grabbed some napkins, got a cup
of water and went out and cleaned the inside of my windshield
in hopes that it would reduce the fogging problem.
Now if you've owned, or been in a Ford Aerostar, you know that
it's quiet a reach to get ALL of the inside of the windshield - and
the lighting wasn't that great, it being a rainy night.
Got the driver's side done and walked around to the passenger
side to do that side of the windshield. Got in and found I was
sitting on a backpack. I figured one of the kids I'd given a ride
home from school had left their back pack.
Only when I had to move the little chinese lantern with the
red silk fringe out of the way to clean the middle of the
windshield - did I realize this wasn't my van. Hadn't even
noticed that THIS aerostar didn't have the kayak roof rack
that's on my van.
Went inside and laughingly told the owner about my OOPS!
He went in the back, said something in chinese and at least
two people in the kitchen started laughing their asses off
- in chinese of course. When he returned, still laughing, he
told me the cook thanks me for cleaning his windshield.
Every time I went into that place to get some food the
owner would yell something in chinese and laughter from
the back would follow.
I figure if it made someone smile, or laugh out loud, well
sharing a screw up that does that sure beats the hell
out of the ones that involve blood and/or bruises.
My name is charlie b and I approved this tale - which is,
swear to god, true.
Used to have a passion, and, being relatively young, newly single, and just
out of the service, the time, for steer roping.
AAMOF, had one of the best "heeling" horses around this part of the country,
Rusty, who, being a King Ranch bred "Leo" offspring, had a number of almost
identical cousins (Leo being known to "throw" his type, color and
confirmation, one of the traits which made him a famous sire of cow saavy
Also had just bought a brand new "Barry Burke" roping saddle, the steer
roping "pay once, cry once" equivalent of a Unisaw to a woodworker ... that
saddle cost me a fortune (no telling how many horses I had to shoe to buy
it, and being newly single of course, didn't have to justify to anyone
One Saturday night, the second of a two day rodeo, my roping partner
(header) and I (heeler) drew to rope in the show instead of the after show
"slack" we'd roped in the night before. Turns out that another cowboy from
out of town also had a Leo bred "heading" horse, and, to complicate matters
further, an identical, brand new, BB roping saddle.
Said combination he proceeded to park in the exact same spot on the fence
I'd tied Rusty the night before.
Yep ... in the course of human failings, things have apparently stayed the
same when it comes to getting in/on the wrong "ride".
To shorten the story considerably, I don't know who was more surprised that
night; the horse - who'd never heeled a steer in his life; or me - when that
big Mexican steer hit the end of the rope in a manner new and surprising to
"Rusty", who promptly crow hopped twice and fell over sideways, still 'hard
and fast' to the steer, in front of god and the crowd.
Took us 20 minutes to get that horse and steer loose of each other, and that
brand new saddle (now well broke in) off him so he could get up, and another
two weeks to get the red off my face ... they're probably still laughing in
... and if DG can find that on snopes, this old fart will kiss his butt.
At first, he was kinda unsure what to say/do. But, since I was bigger and
meaner ( I was shoeing horses at the time and folks don't normally dis
anyone who wrestles 1200 lb horses all day, every day, and for good reason),
and, particularly when I told him I wouldn't charge him but 'going rate' for
training/teaching his horse how to heel, he got over it pretty quick.
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