OT Funeral Home expenses

[trader4]

If the decessed had a will and it's a typical uncontested estate, there isn't a need for a lawyer, at least not here in NJ. The exectutor can go over to the county surrogate's office, file some simple paperwork that they will help you with and then the executor can pay off the bills, distribute the assets, pay any taxes, etc. It's not rocket science. I did it on two estates and it saved me many thousands on lawyer fees. The fees beyond that are just a few bucks. And the typical lawyer shyster takes a cut based on the value of the estate, not the actual time/work involved. The work is minimal. It doesn't take any longer to deal with a bank account that has $200K in it than it does for one that has $2K.

As for the original question, it seems the family has limited resources. So, while what they are doing seems unusual, I see nothing wrong with it. It seems like the cost would be a hardship on them and while they could probably bear the cost themselves, they might have to pay it off over time, etc. This way it would help them.

And I would trust the typical funeral home to do the right thing. Yeah, they could cheat you. But one thing preventing them is that most people are going to send checks. And the funeral homes always send evidence of who sent flowers, donations, etc to the family so that they can send thank you cards. Any funeral home folks know that if they tried to pocket the money, Aunt Edith doesn't get a thank you note, and decides to start talking about it to other relatives, they didn't get a note, but Uncle Eddy who sent flowers did, etc, they could be easily found out to be thieves.

[Metspitzer]

This is a small town where everyone knows everyone.

[dadiOH]

I think you are mis-reading the request. I take it to mean...

1. instead of sending flowers, send a check for an equivalent amount to the funeral home
2. the funeral home will deduct that from our bill

Seems clear to me. No mention of the funeral home assuming expenses, the operative word is "help", .

Of course, all could have been avoided via cremation...around here, that costs $600-$700 including everything, even picking up the corpse. No burial ground, no "opening and closing", no vault, no casket, no viewing, no embalming. Clean, neat and inexpensive.

[Herman Munster]

You got snookered!

The local crematory offers a $500 cremation. You deliver a dead body with certificate to their door, 48 hours later they have the ashes waiting.

[Harry K]

Funeral directors have larded the laws with stuff benefiting them over the years.

Used to be "death and taxes", now you hae to add 'funeral directors' to the mix.

Harry K

[Harry K]

Same meaning I got out of it. As for the funeral home "assuming expenses"? No way, anything not covered by the donations will be billed to the family.

Harry K

[micky]

I don't spend a lot of time in diverse cemeteries, so I've only come across this in one cemetery, a public**, that is, not religiously or otherwise privately affiliated, but not free either, cemetery on E

67th st. in Chicago. I had a long talk with the manager of the cemetery. **The first public cemetery in the US was Green-wood, in the middle of Brooklyn. but many of the people buried there are very far from poor, judging by the elaborate stones and mausoleums. It " was the place most famous New Yorkers who died during the second half of the nineteenth century were buried. " Check out for pictures.

I think it still has room, perhaps because Catholics and Jews and some others, who make up a good portion of NYC, get buried in their own respecitive religion's cemeteries.

Hmmm. Not my style.

Do people just come by and ask for that?

[bubba]

Very interesting. I thought it was free, so now I'll have to check on this.

When my mother died, the funeral home asked what I wanted to say, and I couldn't concentrate in general, and I was in a rush in addition, because I had to make a lot of phone calls and catch the 2PM plane.

Afterwards, I found out the paper wouldn't print an obituary several days late.

IF the paper charged, and that's a big if, I don't think I was going to be charged extra, which means t he mortuary saved whatever money it cost by my not doing anything. This would be one more in a line of things the mortuary did wrong, one of which was illegal.

I will call the paper on Monday.

My mother didn't know many people here, and since the funeral was out of town, no one she or I knew here would have gone, but still, if the mortuary screwed me over again.....

The funeral industry lobbies hard, legally and I'll bet illegally, to get laws t hat help it.

[Hench]

I've never seen seen asked donations made to a funeral home, but have plenty time seen asked donations made to the remaining family members, usually called a "trust" or in trust. It happens alot if children are left without a parent or a disabled widow is left etc...

[Jim Elbrecht]

That my first instinct. Luckily a friend and my daughter over-ruled me. My wife spent most of her 65 years making friends. She was a psychiatric nurse for 30 years in a state hospital, then taught for a while, then went to another hospital so she could be on the floor again-- then she landed what to her was the dream job. . . County Mental health visiting nurse. She only got to do it for 6 months, it was 1/2 the pay that she was getting in the hospital, and 3 times the work. But it was pure 'save-the-world' crap that she lived for.

Along the way she made a pile of friends that I never met. Many of them reached out when they saw the obit. One that she went to nursing school with 40 years ago and recognized her smile. [from the photo that my daughter insisted I include and pay extra for]

That'll work when I go-- and the kids will be able to throw a party for $40, too.

Jim

[Gordon Shumway]

He didn't. He said cremations were approx $500. That's why I asked how he assumed the family had the money laying around and didn't need help with the costs.

That's good info on embalming fluid but how does it compare to what is released into the atmosphere with a cremation? What cost to the environment is there to create the energy necessary for the cremation? I still don't see any proof that one is better than the other.

[dadiOH]

It depends totally upon the paper. Locally (central Florida), the paper will run a small obit free. By "small" I mean one column inch. Bigger than that you pay.

And I'm quite sure that no paper in the country will run one of those lengthy obits with a 2 column photo of the recently departed in all his glory as a WW2 soldier for free.

[Kurt Ullman]

Most have a very generic one for free usually just name of croakee, date of death, funeral home and times. Those that I have seen run about

1/2 column inch. Some papers, especially in smaller towns, still do the big runs for free. >

[John Albert]

Just wondering, in the USA, is there any _legal obligation_ to post a public obituary notice in a newspaper?

Does doing so fulfill any legal obligations, or prevent legal entanglements for the estate later on?

[Jim Elbrecht]

No. But I was surprised how often a creditor, or business will take the obit as proof of death. [or at least give them the dates in print to send them to the Social Security Death index-- or let them kick the paperwork to the 'estate' department]

Jim

[harry]

Sorry to hear about your wife. Must be awful. Especially with all the leeches after you so soon.

[dadiOH]

No obligation, just the departed's 15 minutes of fame. The family might find some benefit simply from the recognition; the Nigerian scammers benefit by harvesting them. Bible salesmen used to benefit too.

[dennisgauge]

No way. It can't be something practical and logical like that.

This is a huge conspiracy masterminded by Barack Obama to take all our freedoms and wealth through donations to the funeral home. Then he will send out his goons with their 16 billion hollow point bullets to execute us all.

[yrag.neslo]

The problem with being buried is that someone, someday, is going to dig you up and you'll be on display or scattered around. It may not be in ten years or a hundered years, but it will happen.

[Stormin Mormon]

No way. It can't be something practical and logical like that.

This is a huge conspiracy masterminded by Barack Obama to take all our freedoms and wealth through donations to the funeral home. Then he will send out his goons with their 16 billion hollow point bullets to execute us all.