My name is Deandre Sharpe, I live in Dearborn, MI. I am writing this message to promote and hopefully recruit myself. I am a aspiring apprentice electrician, who has completed a four year electrical aprenticeship program and a two year vocational program in electrical construction. I have two years hands on experience. I have been looking to educate myself and push the boundries of my knowledge to excel in this career. I understand that there is plenty of growth in this trade although it seems like it's much harder to actually get in. If there are any positions available for an excellent electrical apprentice with any organization in any state, PLEASE, do not hesitate to contact me. I would gladly join your team. By hiring me as a apprentice there are tax breaks which you would receive and you would also aquire a motivated person, a excellent listener, a quick learner egar to work anytime. Is there anyone otu there who can help me. my e-mail address is snipped-for-privacy@comcast.net Thank you in advance for your help.
If you're having trouble w/ employment opportunities there, I'd suggest considering going to someplace where local economy is better and construction is proceeding apace first rather than waiting for a call from the blue. Right-to-work states would be a good choice, as well. The whole Gulf Coast and FL are still in the midst of rebuilding as are many areas in the midwest after this year's tornadoes and floods. CA is needing qualified people as will many of the western states after the fires of recent news headlines. Opportunities are there, you may need to go elsewhere to search them out first.
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You might want to use spell-checker a little more closely in future resume-type thingies--sorta' negates the picture you're trying to paint here...
There's also a building boom in British Columbia, if you feel inclined to move to Canada. Lots of contractors hiring; I had one wanting to know if I wanted to jump ship from the Navy. Wasn't as interested when I told him only if he was prepared to hire me as a journeyman with 2 years credit towards master electrician, but after 15 years in the Navy as an electrial tech I'll be damned if I'm going to pull wire for someone.
DPB is right about spelling errors and writing style. It's harder to proofread one's own stuff, so maybe get someone who you know writes well to do so. Those at alt.english.usage will sometimes proofread people's stuff, but sometimes no one wants to. I haven't figured out exactly what makes the difference.
You don't want to recruit yourself. People recruit *other* people.
an aspiring, not a aspiring.
These are the most important three lines.
When used as adjectives, as they are here, it's four-year, two-year, and hands-on. The last sentence requires a possessive form, "I have two years' hands-on experience." or better yet, "two years of hands-on experience". No hyphen between two and years in either of these.
This sentence is ok in a post here asking for help, but not good if writing to a prospective employer. A) you're complaining, and B) I suspect everyone in the trade knows it's hard to get started. IMO, just leave it out.
IMO, the sentence before it isn't so good either, because it's so much like advertising, "push the boundaries", and I suspect it doesn't appeal very much to employer. How about just "I'm looking to learn and to excel in my career."
an apprentice.
acquire, an excellent, You use "an" before a vowel, or a consonant that sounds like a vowel (like: an honest person), but not before a vowel that sounds like a consonant (like: a union).
eager, out. Needs a question mark after the question.
I know that most people, including me, don't edit Usenet or even email as carefully as they could, but you're looking for a job. And a spell=-checker helps, but leaves errors in which the word is correctly spelled but it's the wrong word. Like a and an.
You should have divided the text into at least 4 paragraphs, making the breaks where you change topics, where you change at least a little bit. I say that mostly because it's very hard to read a big block of text. Just looking at it is hard for many people. It's also hard to go back and find a line again if one wants to.
Alaska had a lot of job opportunities for a long time, especially in trades, but I don't know one way or another about now.
(One summer I got two postcards from different friends, who didn't know each other, who both went to Alaska on vacation, and both said there were lots of jobs for me there.)
P&M, but most people on usenet don't want to email replies. I hope you're reading the group for replies.
My point was to not "flower things up". A prospective employer; doing an interview should see through exaggerated claims. But then again; they may see a person that every time the open their mouth - honey runs out!
Good lunk!
-- Oren
"Well, it doesn't happen all the time, but when it happens, it happens constantly."
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