This is a personal post that might gross out some people. Please use discretion when deciding to read it.
I was two months pregnant until today, when I lost the baby. I collected a lot of blood in a bowl, as well as some tissue. I'd like to make some sort of little memorial by incorporating this into my garden somehow. For some reason, I would find it comforting if this sadness could be put to some good use.
My first thought was simply the compost pile--quick and easy. However, are there any plants that do particularly well with a small application of fresh human blood?
Again, sorry to gross anyone out. I really like this NG, as I have found some good advice and have met some friendly people, and I don't wish to offend, but I thought maybe one or two people could give some advice here.
I'm sorry for your loss but I certainly do admire your way of trying to cope with the situation.
I'm not at all good at showing 'sensitivity' online and I can't think of a decent way of writing about the loss of a potential human being so I'll just come right out and say it and I'll apologise in advance if what I say appears to be insensitive.
Fresh human blood and tissue will have a similar effect in the garden to the organic fertiliser known as 'blood meal'. It will be high in nitrogen and relatively fast acting.
If you can find a plant in your garden and that needs a feed and that you particularly like, then that plant might be a good candidate to nurture.
Sorry for your loss. I'm a bit new here, so can't really offer a suggestion that relates to your situation from a produce gardening perspective. However, I would perhaps give some thought to how you would like to remember and memorialize your loss.
People often try to make a relationship by using a personal item from the person lost (hair, tooth, fingerprint, etc.) and associating it in their daily lives. You may feel right now that adding the "genetic" material to your garden, but how will you feel when it is time to harvest the garden? If the plants do well, was it a sign from above? If you have a bad crop, was it a symbol of the recent failed conception? And how is it going to make you feel eating the vegetables?
You may want to take some time and reflect on this. I have no idea how it feels to lose a child, but have lost loved ones in the past. What I would think would be more fitting is to take an aluminum cigar cylinder or a sealed glass container to put the genetic material into, and then bury this somewhere on your property. Do you have a rock garden? Put it in there with a small engraved stone. Or perhaps plant a tree and put the cylinder at the base of it.
In that way, you can have a visible reminder after this season so that the emotional scars heal, and eventually if/when you are ready to move on or have another child, you have the choice to remove the "reminder" or leave it to serve as a memorial.
I read this poem on another website, and I thought I would share it with you.
"A Pair of Shoes"
I am wearing a pair of shoes. They are ugly shoes. Uncomfortable shoes. I hate my shoes. Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair. Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step. Yet, I continue to wear them. I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy. I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs. They never talk about my shoes. To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable. To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them. But, once you put them on, you can never take them off. I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes. There are many pairs in this world. Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them. Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much. Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt. No woman deserves to wear these shoes. Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman. These shoes have given me the strength to face anything. They have made me who I am. I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Please don't worry about sensitivity. I asked an honest question and expected straightforward answers, and I appreciate the answers I got. I decided to dilute the blood and put it on the hills of corn that are currently not growing very well. It is the variety Chires, also known as baby corn, which is appropriate. The tissue, I will put in the compost where it will help our whole family.
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