Wood theft

A Chinese woodworker recently opened his shop to discover that sometime during the night a significant quantity of his rare wood blanks had been stolen.

Looking for clues, he discovered a child's footprints in the floor's sawdust. The woodcarver decided to lie in wait to capture the thief.

Sure enough, that night he heard a noise. The Chinese woodwork jumped from his hiding place and flicked on the light.

Standing before him was a SEVEN-FOOT tall BEAR with itty-bitty feet!!!

Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you, boy-foot bear with Teaks of Chan!!"

Reply to
HeyBub
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Don't quit your day job.

Reply to
Doug Miller

Groan...

Reply to
Gordon Shumway

I guess I am dense. Can someone explain the reference. I am not getting it. Something about a bare foot boy I presume.

Reply to
SonomaProducts.com

English Lit I, Whittier

Blessings on thee, little man, Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!

With thy turned-up pantaloons, And thy merry whistled tunes; ... etc., etc., ...

Reply to
dpb

...

American english literature, that would be, not English ...

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Reply to
dpb

I think I napped that class.

Reply to
Ed Pawlowski

I guess I am dense. Can someone explain the reference. I am not getting it. Something about a bare foot boy I presume. =======================================================

You're not alone.

Reply to
CW

It's a pun on the poem "The Barefoot Boy" by John Whittier, which starts out,

"Blessings on thee, little man, Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!"

The whole poem's pretty long, you can read it at

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Reply to
Just Wondering

Ah, the curse of a liberal education. Recently a conservative penned a novel, The Overton Window. The jacket blurb had this incantation:

"As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man There are only four things certain since Social Progress began. That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire, And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

"And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins, As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn, The Gods of the Copybook Headings* with terror and slaughter return!"

Or you can view the trailer here:

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exception, a bevy of liberal bloggers and pundits screeched, hopped up and down, and, with pointed fingers, exclaimed that this digestion was evidence sufficient of a diseased and disgusting mind!

The blurb was not from the conservative author, but from a poem, The Gods of the Copybook Headings, by Rudyard Kipling.

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  • Copybook Headings. In English grammar schools, books were handed out with pages mostly blank. These were "copybooks". Each page had at the top a pithy saying, i.e., "A stitch in time saves nine," "A penny saved is a penny earned," etc., written in a florid hand. It was the object of the exercise for each student to copy the top-line quote, doing his best to match the penmanship.
Reply to
HeyBub

That is really too bad for you and Ed. As I reach my twilight years, it was certainly worth a re- read. It revels in the riches of youth; a barefoot boy who is prince, seer, and learned sachem. Yeah, the lord and master of his domain.

Not a bad groaner for a woodworking group either, as groaners go.

Reply to
DanG

That is really too bad for you and Ed. As I reach my twilight years, it was certainly worth a re- read. It revels in the riches of youth; a barefoot boy who is prince, seer, and learned sachem. Yeah, the lord and master of his domain.

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After finding out what it was, I'm glad I missed it.

Reply to
CW

YOU ARE IN THE WRONG GROUP !!

Reply to
papadoo1

Well... once again admitting my ignorance has added to my knowledge. Sounds like a cute poem. Majoring in enginnering it was a badge of honor to never (legitimately) pass an English course (includin' spellin'). Thank god for girlfriends. Became a bit more difficult when I went back for a degree in marketing.

Reply to
SonomaProducts.com

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