Passive aggressive traits include, but are not limited to:
FEELING VICTIMIZED - The p/a man protests that others unfairly accuse him
rather than owning up to his own misdeeds. To remain above reproach, he
sets himself up as the apparently hapless, innocent victim of your excessive
demands and tirades.
SULKING - Feeling put upon when he is unable to live up to his promises or
obligations, the p/a man retreats from pressures around him and sulks, pouts
MAKING EXCUSES & LYING - The p/a man reaches as far as he can to fabricate
excuses for not fulfilling promises. As a way of withholding information,
affirmation or love - to have power over you - the p/a man may choose to
make up a story rather than give you a straight answer.
FOSTERING CHAOS - The p/a man prefers to leave the puzzle incomplete, the
FEAR OF INTIMACY - Guarded & often mistrustful, he is reluctant to show his
emotional fragility. He's often out of touch with his feelings,
reflexively denying feelings he thinks will "trap" or reveal him, like love.
He picks fights to create distance.
FEAR OF COMPETITION - Feeling inadequate, he is unable to compete with other
men in work and love. He may operate either as a self-sabotaging wimp with
a pattern of failure, or he'll be the tyrant, setting himself up as
unassailable and perfect, needing to eliminate any threat to his power.
OBSTRUCTIONISM - Just tell a p/a man what you want, no matter how small, and
he may promise to get it for you. But he won't say when, and he"all do it
deliberately slowly just to frustrate you. Maybe he won't comply at all.
He blocks any real progress he sees to your getting your way.
PROCRASTINATION - The p/a man has an odd sense of time - he believes that
deadlines don't exist for him.
CHRONIC LATENESS & FORGETFULNESS - One of the most infuriating &
inconsiderate of all p/a traits is his inability to arrive on time. By
keeping you waiting, he sets the ground rules of the relationship. And his
selective forgetting - used only when he wants to avoid an obligation.
AMBIGUITY - He is master of mixed messages and sitting on fences. When he
tells you something, you may still walk away wondering if he actually said
yes or no.