OT--You Know You Don't Live In California When...

[Bruce]

Heya all, You know you *don't* live in California when...

1. You believe every stereotype you've ever heard about California.

1. You're so geographically ignorant that you think that the entire state is made up of the Los Angeles area and the San Francisco area.

2. You don't realize that California has the most geographical variety of any state in the Union. It has the highest point in the continental U.S., (Mt. Whitney) as well as the lowest, (Death Valley). It has the largest trees. And on a more subjective note, the most beautiful National parks that include Yosemite. A huge number of lakes, rivers and streams as well as on of the most beautiful coastlines in the world. It also shares with Nv. one of the most beautiful natural lakes in the world, Lake Tahoe.

1. You're too ignorant to understand that the majority of the people who "normal" people would call freaks came from other states. Still, the majority of the people in California are decent, hard working people who aren't like the people that the shut-ins, (like Bob Schmall) have seen on T.V. or in movies.

2. You don't realize that California produces more food than anywhere else in the U.S. The millions of acres of farmland are just part of what makes California easily the most beautiful state in the Union.

1. You're ignorant of the fact that our governor can easily kick the ass of any other governor in the Union or, for that matter, any other world leader. (Jesse Ventura is no longer the governor of Minnesota)

2. You don't realize that some of us Native Californians get rather sensitive when our state is unjustly bad-mouthed...Sniff, Sob!

Yeah, I know, it was just a joke and lighten up, right? Well, I've spent way too much time in New York and Texas visiting in-laws who think just like your retarded California-bashing list. As is evidenced by the few responses that have shown up so far, it's apparent that many of you non-Californians are under the same misconceptions. All of you who really believe the list are quite welcome to stay out of California and make sure you avoid all of the products produced here. Better rent a big dumpster because it's going to be *full*. Deposit your computer and it's software in there too. Better get that garden growing while you're at it.

Bruce, A proud native Californian who's lived in many different states and visited many more. I'll stay where I am thank you.

[Charlie Self]

Bruce responds:

You know you're from CA when you think that's important.

Charlie Self "It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard Fillmore

[Lowell Holmes]

I enjoyed my visit to San Diego last August. I was glad to get back home to Texas. :-) I also enjoyed my swing through the New England and Eastern Seaboard in the Fall.

Between the two trips I saw furniture made by Stickley, Maloof, Nakashima, Townsend-Goddard and the craftsmen at Williamsburg. What inspiration!

[Tim Douglass]

You assume people have a sense of humor.

Tim Douglass

[Bob Schmall]

NURSE!

[Greg M]

I grew up in Riverside, California but moved in 1995 to Michigan when I was fifteen because of my Mother's health problems, which were in large part caused by the smog. The main response I hear from people after I tell them that I moved from California is "Why would you want to do that?". Of course, there's always the completely idiotic, "I have a friend/relative that lives in California, do you know him?" I still miss some things about California and a lot of the things that you listed. I guess the thing I miss the most about California is the mountains. However, I don't think I would want to move back to California if given the chance because of the smog, gangs, traffic, allergies, wall-to-wall cities and dry, dead landscape. I've been living in the Detroit Metro area for the past year and before that I was going to school for five years in Houghton, MI (in the U.P.). The Detroit suburbs remind me a lot of California, except for the significantly lower amount of import automobiles :-)

P.S. One thing I hate about Michigan is the people that refer to California as "Cali". They hear it once in a rap song and suddenly they're hip enough to repeat it endlessly. Also, my dad is convinced that there are more morons per capita in Michigan than California, and he refers to them as "Mich-a-tards"

Greg M

[Bay Area Dave]

I've lived overseas in 4 countries for a total of 10 years and have lived in 6 states and been through about 1/2 the others. I'll take CA over anywhere else, thank you very much. The weather is great, humidity is low, the temperatures in San Jose are usually pleasant year round, and earth quakes aren't that big deal that they are cracked up to be. At least not in the 34 years I've been here.

On the downside, taxes and expenses are pretty high, but I've got Prop 13 tax coverage on my home, so I'm immune to real estate tax increases until I move. Traffic can be lousy in other parts of the country too, so I don't count traffic as a big negative like some here do. Now if folks would just speak English a bit more when out in public, I wouldn't feel like I live in a foreign country...:) And getting the order taker at fast food establishments to understand MY English is problematic.

We've got Arnold, the ocean, FLAT bike trails, mountains, skiing, blue sky all summer, no mosquitos. If you want heat, we've got Redding, Palm Springs, Livermore, Sacramento. If you want cool we've got San Diego, Santa Cruz, San Francisco.

Lakes? Clear Lake, Shasta (for the house boat set), Tahoe.

But I must admit there's no bargains on wood. (Maybe I should chuck it all and move to W.V.) :)

dave

Bruce wrote:

[J T]

Mon, Apr 5, 2004, 9:42am (EDT-3) [e-mail] (Bruce) Heya all, =A0=A0=A0=A0You know you *don't* live in California when...

When you have friendly wildlife like this:

You see non-plastic women: And, you can never find a McDonalds when you want one: 't e-mail me while I'm breathing.

[Bill Everette]

Jeez! My wife told me that humor was in short supply in CA. You must be suffering from "Rolling Laughouts"!

[Bruce]

Charlie, You obviously have no sense of humor at all. What an idiot!

Bruce Redding, Ca.

matter,

Fillmore

[Bruce]

I do have a sense of humor, as can be seen by some of my reply. However, how would you feel if we start with some black jokes or some Jew jokes? Maybe we can make fun of the stupid crazy folks from Mexico! Yeah, sure is funny stuff! I'll bet you can't see any comparison here. "Hey, I'm just kidding!" The responses to the attempt at humor were evidence that many people take the OP joke seriously. Just out of curiosity, how would any of you folks from Canada take it if we made a long list of derogatory and nasty stereotypes about Canada. Don't worry, we'll make some up. That's what was done with Ca.

Bruce Redding, Ca.

[Bruce]

Southern California has very little to do with the majority of the state. There's no smog problem where I live and the same can be said with the majority of the state. At least no more than around any other part of the country. Ever been to Denver? The same goes for the crime/gang problem. Gangs aren't a problem except in the major metro areas and that would apply to *any* state. I lived in Portland, Or. for a few years. I moved because I got sick of the gangs. What do you mean by wall-to-wall cities? Did you ever leave Southern California? Really. That's the only part of the state that's really like that more than any other state and that's mostly just the L.A. area. The S.F. Bay Area is congested too but not as much as many areas on the East Coast. Between that is lots of wide open spaces. Dry, dead landscape??? This confirms that all you know is the far southern portion of the state. The majority of the state is green, either from trees or crops.

Bruce Redding, Ca.

California

California

beautiful

matter,

rather

[Bruce]

See my previous responses with regards to humor. I've got lots of humor. But I'm also very proud of the greatest state in the Union and I'm tired of seeing it bad-mouthed under the guise of a joke. Why don't you tell some ethnic jokes, Bill. C'mon, it's just in fun, right? I'll be you can think of all sorts of stereotypes that will be a barrel of laughs. Can't see anything going wrong with that.

Bruce Redding, Ca.

[Dave in Fairfax]

This says so much more about you than Charlie.

Dave in Fairfax

[Bruce]

Good one, Dave! You sure floored me with that zinger!

Bruce Redd> > Charlie, You obviously have no sense of humor at all.

[George]

MTU, eh? Why did you leave da UP?

I spent time in Marysville, and it got so bad that you had to have a group to camp out or risk the freaks even in the mountains. For my money, it's still granola land.

Oh yeah, born a troll - Joy and Telegraph....

[Bill Everette]

I realize it's all in fun (that's why I posted in a humorous manner), but the poster evidently doesn't. And what does this have to do with ethnic jokes?

[Swingman]

Bingo! ... Charlie's humor is dryer than California whine.

[RKON]

You forgot one .... Standing in Line... I was at Fryes in Fremont last month and the line was 100 deep. My god, are people that programmed in Bay Area to stand in lines like that?

Rich

[Charlie Self]

Bruce responds:

Seems to me I'm not the one suffering from an impairment of the humorous.

Charlie Self "It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard Fillmore