OT Hummer: The Blond Mortician

A little uplifting humor:

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blond mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blond mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful.. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blond mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says..

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blond says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!

:-)

Reply to
jo4hn
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Ya got me.

Lew

Reply to
Lew Hodgett

Got me too. Immediately forwarded.

jc

Reply to
Joe

THE BLOND PAINTER

This blond decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is okay. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it, by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replied that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said...,

* * * * *
  • You'll love this...,

*

* * ** *
  • Yep... I know you will...,
* * * * ** * * *'FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS'
Reply to
Norvin

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