O/T: The New Math

[Lew Hodgett]

An Oldie

Enjoy

Lew

------------------------------------- Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier: Mach Turtle

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer: 1 lite-year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone:

1 Rod Sterling

Half of a large intestine:

1 semi-colon

One million aches:

1 megahurtz

Weight an evangelist carries with God:

1 billigram

Basic unit of laryngitis:

1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: bananosecond

A half-bath:

1 demijohn

453.6 graham crackers:

1 pound cake

Given the old adage "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," the first step of a one-mile journey:

1 Milwaukee

1 million microphones:

1 megaphone

1 million bicycles:

2 megacycles

2200 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds

10 cards: 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs:

1 Fig Newton

1000 grams of wet socks:

1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish:

1 microfish

1 trillion pins:

1 terrapin

1 million billion picolos:

1 gigolo

10 rations:

1 decoration

100 rations:

1 C-ration

10 millipedes:

1 centipede

3 1/3 tridents:

1 decadent

10 monologs:

5 dialogs

5 dialogs:

1 decalog

2 monograms:

1 diagram

8 nickels:

2 paradigms

2 wharves:

1 paradox

100 Senators: Not 1 decision

[marc rosen]

Thanks Lew, That was a fun one to read. On a very wide variation of those examples, I used to work for a boss at a research lab in a large metropolitan hospital and our group was always talking science. A lot of unusual chemical names were always being tossed around but my boss used a made up name as a generic substitute. His term was "difungomuctane". I don't know if he made it up or got it from his friends in the scienterrific community but it always cracked me up when that name was used indstead of the legitamate compound's name. Marc (waiting for the April Fools jokes to come puring in)

[Lew Hodgett]

Glad you enjoyed it.

Lew

[George W Frost]

too late, it's 3 p.m. here

[Robert Bonomi]

[[ sneck ]]

whoever first published that that had a *lousy* proof-reader!

Did anybody else catch how many of those conversions were inaccurate?