O/T: Perks of Reaching 50 and Beyond

From some one who should know.

Enjoy

Lew

==================================== Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

  1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

  1. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

  2. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

  1. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

  2. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

  1. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

  2. Things you buy now won't wear out.

  1. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

  2. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

  1. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

  2. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

  1. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

  2. You sing along with elevator music.

  1. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

  1. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

  2. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

  1. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

  2. You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!

And Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Reply to
Lew Hodgett
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Sometimes they are amazed I can walk to the mailbox.

And 9 am ...

Well, not always ....

Out of tune and hum the bits you can't remember ... .

And have been for a decade or two ...

Or they're dead ... :(

What list?

Reply to
LD

And now that I'm turning 55 in a few days, my wife finally has let me buy that goddam motorcycle that I've been missing for the last 30 years.

Whoooooeeee!

Reply to
scritch

Ah yes, the three M's of mid-life: mustache, motorcycle, and mistress. Always felt cheated that all I could muster was the mustache. grumble, jo4hn

Reply to
jo4hn

Way back when I was about 20, my fraternity brother would ponder the some of the things he wanted to do before he died:

1) Hunt Kodiak bear. 2) Lay on the beach under the shade of a palm tree on some South Pacific island and sip cold drinks served by scantly clad girls. 3)Run barefooted over an endless field of naked women's breasts. 4) Perform cunninglus.

Last time I asked, he still hadn't hunted Kodiak bear yet.

Lew

Reply to
Lew Hodgett

Probably hoping you'll kill yourself so she can get someone younger!

Reply to
Stuart

Might be prudent for him to check if his life insurance as been increased recently.

Reply to
Upscale

I've got mine trained. She only complains when I have more than 1 motorcycle at a time :-).

Reply to
Larry Blanchard

You lucky sod! :B)

Reply to
Noons

Passed my bike test at the glorious age of 59, just a few weeks after her in doors passed hers.

We are founder members of The Old Fa*ts Motor Bike Club. We take trips out with stupid big grins on our faces and when we get back we try to remember where we've been and who we are.

Great fun

Hope you enjoy your biking as much as we do.

PS Her indoors has just told me she's not a member of the OFMBC. Now I don't know who I go riding with!!

Reply to
Alan Squires

On Mon, 25 May 2009 04:04:07 GMT, the infamous "Lew Hodgett" scrawled the following:

Where'd he find #3? My next vacation is THERE!

LJ, who turned 56 in August.

Reply to
Larry Jaques

He didn't tell and I forgot to ask.

Lew

Reply to
Lew Hodgett

On Sun, 25 Oct 2009 07:50:10 -0700, the infamous "Lew Hodgett" scrawled the following:

Acid trip in Thailand during 'Nam?

Reply to
Larry Jaques

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