The chasm between the Normites (the followers of Norma Abrahms and his
Tailed Beasts) and the Neanders (the followers of Roy Underhill and his
Primitive Hand Tools) is a wide one, with animosity between these two
camps often disturbing the otherwise tranquil and harmonious Wreck. In
an attempt at reconciliation I propose an all encompassing NEW
woodworking religion - The Mosrchgue (MOSque chuRCH synagoGUE) with Les
Nessman as its Prophet (I was considering Dubya as the profit prophet-
what with all his early pratfalls - Im mean being felled by a peanut!
That rasied the Clutch Meters maximum value up at least three notches
above the Gerald Ford mark.) Followers can recongize each other by the
one or more visible bandaids, bandages or surgical tape they wear
proudly on one or more of their appendages.
(For those not familiar with Les Nessman, google WKRP or Les
Now fess up. With all the sharp tools in the shop and all the sharp
edges on freshly milled stock, to say nothing of burs on metal parts,
sharp corners on band clamps etc. , Im betting almost anyone who reads
this message has at least one bandaid or the like stuck to some visible
part of their body, or a tan line where one recently hid skin from
Its time to put aside our differences and unite against the MDFers, the
OSBers and the Melaminites!
What say you!?
raising his bandaged index finger - proudly
YES, indeed. There are two kinds of people: Gingers and Mary Anns. I'm
a Mary Ann. But there are also two kinds of people: Jennifers and
Baileys. I am most definitely a Bailey. I really, REALLY miss her.
I'd be willing to bet there are not too many Mary Anns who are not
also Baileys. I don't see Mary Anns going for Jennifer. I definitely
don't see Gingers going for Bailey.
LRod, you old fart, I'm a Mary Ann guy too - but who is this Bailey
that you are going on about.
(watson - an old fart who feels like he's missing out on something...)
Tom Watson - WoodDorker
[circumsnippage of an excellent dissertation on what's wrong with the
First of all, kudos, charlie, for taking the time to identify the
subtle, yet powerful undercurrent of dismay in this newsgroup. Only a
man with your awareness, talent, and problem solving ability would have
been able to identify this growing dilemma. Fortunately for us, it's
still a young dilemma, so it didn't grow horns yet. *Wipes brows* we
were made aware just in the nick of time.
Well, as there is only one way that I know on how to approach a problem,
I will try to explain the procedure as I have been taught. Our
Canuckistani parliament runs on that very same bundle of methods, surely
it will suffice in doing the job here.
First, run the idea up the flagpole and see who salutes.
Second, float a trial balloon (approved models only).
Third, cast out a lure and see who nibbles.
At the end of the day, you might have enough people to form a committee
to see if they can create a Royal Commission, before a steering
committee can suggest a task-force. The newly created panel can then,
but only then, suggest what we will have for lunch. A napkin sketch, a
few pints of brew, a dart-game, and voila! A solution! The Mosrchgue
Now for the recruitment of a few fresh pink spongy minds.
Offer them a position on the board in exchange for a campaign
contribution....I know, I know, sounds like a new, radical idea, but
let's try it anyway.
Then, we have a general meeting. (Don't sit too close to those
Neanderthals, they have those big flat pencils in their pockets and
they're not afraid to use them.) The cordless crowd will be segregated
also. Section 4, Aisle #3 is designated for the ungrounded ABS/PVC Dust
collect crowd (they all seem to have a death-wish anyway.)
We will then pass around a form with multiple answers for each question.
All will have a check-box which says : "No, Sir, I don't like it."
The guy with the fewest drool-marks, scribbles and coffee stains on his
form gets the job as Grand Toolbah!
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