On 10/15/2011 3:06 PM, firstname.lastname@example.org wrote:
> Last couple of month have been a lot to deal with. Continuing
> problems with health of both parents have been a huge drain.
You have been missed.
I think all the boomer crowd is either facing or going through
many similar things. The work thing is a real nut buster for a
great many folks in the building industry.
The family stuff is a tough pull for people with resources, and
god help the poor crowd.
My wife just got her first new "knee" and it is making me crazy
trying to deal with her and get any work done.
The vet stuff is wonderful and I'm sure glad some folks got the
guts to do it.
Hope it gets better.....
Thanks, Pat. I don't see you around too much anymore, either. We
should make a concerted effort to make this a woodworking group again,
All too true. I am not going down a path many have not walked before,
but my particular problem is that my folks did NOTHING to prepare for
their later years. I had to clean out their house (run down from
years of old, sick people living in it) put it on the market and sell
it. I have had to monitor their ongoing health issues such as 2 years
ago my father (then at 83) falling and breaking his back in 4 places
after finishing his cancer surgery. And last year several of my Mom's
teeth fell out.
Then there was no valid will. No DNRs. No powers of attorney of any
type. No financial plan at all. No long term plan for the survivor
of the two in the event of demise of the other. Working through the
maze of Medicare, co pays, doctor visits, and on an on along with
their always changing situation has been a time hole.
Or worse, the crowd that does not have a personal advocate. I have
moved my Dad twice from care facilities that have pronounced his time
up, and have tried to install him in hospice to make his remaining
time comfortable. That crap started almost three years ago. If you
don't have someone in your corner and you are old and sick, they are
ready to sweep you out with the rest of the expired stuff without
Hey, that's the good stuff. While some of our members feel too much
pain to actually interface with the guys that are really "banged up",
they miss the boat. Most of the wounded troopers want nothing more
than to be treated as normal guys, talked to like men, and NOT to talk
about their injuries. At our last dinner I had a lot of fun talking
to the troopers and their families as they come from all over the USA
for our medical facilities that serve all branches.
I had a spirited conversation with a young man about the age old
"Kansas City Barbecue vs. Texas Barbecue" debate that was only able to
see out of one eye. He of course was for KC, but I think I held my
own. He was quiet and reserved for the dinner, but at the end of the
he made it a point to come see me and tell me how good the barbecue
was to him, although not like home. That put a smile on my face, and
he was pleased with himself (a young man in his early 20s) for teasing
Thanks to you and everyone else for their good wishes. I haven't seen
this many old faces here in some time. Good to hear from everyone.
On 10/15/2011 2:06 PM, email@example.com wrote:
I feel for you, Robert ... those are some tough emotions to deal with.
Mom is in advanced stages of dementia and in a nursing home in Brenham
(it just got too much for my 88 year old Dad to take care of her at home
any longer, it was really pulling him down physically ... she would fall
and there was no way he could pick her up .. so more than once he just
made her comfortable on the floor and lay down beside her until morning
when he could get some help).
She actually recognized me momentarily this past Sunday while I was
feeding her lunch (she can't feed herself), kissed my hand and actually
pulled my arm around her shoulders, but a few minutes later she had that
blank look again. Normally she doesn't recognize me, or anyone in the
Tough to see someone go through that. Their 70th wedding anniversary was
this past Oct 3rd.
I walked up to my dad one time, in the assisted living home, and he
"Who are you?" he asked.
"That's wonderful, I have a son named Rob.".. and his smile widened
That event stuck to me, still rattles me when I think about it. In
some ways, it is a wonderful story.
It is wonderful. I hate equating art to reality, but a touching film, I
ever saw, and I don't sit through many, was "The Notebook". Watching my
Dad trying, with both desperation and resignation, to bring some
recognition into the face of his partner of 70 years brings that
particular piece of art into the realm of reality.
None of this is easy. Mom and Dad just passed their 61st, and there
was no joy. Instead it is fear of the great unknown in front of them,
what will become of one another and if they will continue to be
separated. Worse, if something happens to one or the other and they
feel like they weren't "there" for the other. If my Dad passes in the
rehab/hospice ward and my Mom isn't there at his side she absolutely
won't forgive herself.
I am having a meeting with all the department heads tomorrow at the
compound he lives in to see where he can go from here. He has
plateaued in his therapy, and he will hit bottom tomorrow when they
deny further health care from Medicare. He told me that he feels like
they are telling him there is no more hope for his future.
I will be trying to set up some alternative solutions, but don't what
they will be yet. He wants to get better and go back to his
apartment, but Mom wants him back -now-. She is more lonely than ever
as her only sister passed this last weekend. She has no more of her
family she grew up with alive now, besides a brother she isn't close
to, so this has taken a new urgency.
Lots will be happening this Friday.
On a lighter note, Mom was in a chipper mood (maybe not all dementia
is bad!) last night because she won forty cents at bingo, and at their
weekly store outing she found a great deal on Poise pads. My Mom does
like winning at bingo and a good bargain - I guess it was a pretty
On 10/15/2011 2:06 PM, firstname.lastname@example.org wrote:
Good here, my folks are ok up in Chicago but aging. Been looking for
work in St Louis area but no luck, a 55 year old electronic tech ain't
that much in demand. Marriage has been a bit rough lately but a couple
of deaths of her brothers and mom in law is also aging.
But I have a nice house qith a two car garage shop and a long todo
Good to hear from you.
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