I've been a Thinkpad fanatic for almost 20 years, but I never realised how silly I was by not disabling these two features.
So:
- Boot into your laptop BIOS/UEFI setup.
- Disable "USB always on" (Your BIOS setup utility may use a different name);
- Disable "Intel Fast-Boot" (If not an Intel CPU, it may be under a different name).
- Save settings and reboot.
Et voila, your old, crappy, near-dead battery will be instantly rejuvenated.
Do this from the BIOS setup, not from your OS power management software.