Wednesday evening

[ARW]

I shall be at work until very late.

I am buying nothing for the kids who go trick or treating. The grasping little Fagins will yet again have no luck when they knock on my door.

[Frank Erskine]

[Robin]

... said the scrote looking for "treats" to flog as he pushed the lit firework through the letterbox?

(If we're out/being grumpish I make a point of blocking the letterbox. Still means there are sometimes eggs to wash of the next morning.)

[Chris Wilson]

I tend to throw the door open and scream at the little tykes whilst holding a small hatchet I usually use for kindling ... of course if they're ones I really don't like it's nothing so pleasent ... :-)

Actually this year I'll be at work until midnight and home about 2 so I'll be missing all the lack of fun.

[polygonum]

In another place someone posted this a few minutes ago:

"Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

At the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!'

'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom.

Are you ready for this? Brace yourself; this is going to hurt !!!!

'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!'

Sounds to me like she's....... been sweeping around!!!"

[Huge]

One advantage of living down 1/4 mile of unmade, unlit farm track. In 20 years, I think we've had a grand total of about 3 unsolicited callers, and no trick-or-treaters whatsoever.

[Andy Champ]

We had a hallowe'n party at our club a few years ago. One guy has a daughter who is a makeup artist, so when she did him as a zombie... and the trick-or-treaters knocked...

Quite a good scream apparently!

Andy

[Jules Richardson]

It's a lot more civil this side of the pond - and at least in this region every house has a front porch, and every kid knows from an early age that they're only supposed to visit houses that have the porch light on. I've never heard of any incidents of tricking either (by either the caller or person called on, depending on which way you believe that's supposed to go)

We live way out in the sticks too though, so don't get a problem with callers (although it's a good excuse to buy a bunch of chocolates and then be able to eat them when nobody shows up ;)

cheer

Jules

[Owain]

Only time I got TorTers I was rather unprepared and they got a Tesco Value 'penguin' biscuit. I don't think they were impressed as they haven't been back since.

As I'm on a diet at the mo' I don't even have Value penguins in the house; do children eat Ryvita?

Owain

[harry]

You must live in a rough area?

[Jules Richardson]

You could tell them it's Ryvita, but give them some appropriately-sized MDF offcuts instead as the 'trick'...

[John Williamson]

The MDF probably tastes better...

[Robin]

Depends on what you are used to. On the one hand it is South Hackney; on the other hand as with so much of London there are micro-climates of crime and ours is pretty temperate, especially as regards burglary, robbery and assault; and on the third hand some years we get some so-called trick-and-treaters who are not local kids no one knows so we strive hard not to suspect them to be from the grotty council estate down the road or the travellers' site beyond that. But it's only been eggs on 2 years out of 25; and no fireworks yet.

[Robin]

Is that comment a DIY route to a child protection warning on various databases post-Savile?

And I really, really wish I could be sure I comment in jest :-(

[ARW]

I have never had the house egged. I have had it bricked. But they were not kids trick or treating.

[Jules Richardson]

What, was he into MDF, then?

[Onetap]

Ferrero-Rocher.

Eat the chocolates.

Carefully wrap some brussels sprouts in the wrappings and replace in the box.

[Clive George]

Though with Ferrero-Rocher, it's a close thing as to which is nastier. It would certainly put me off a career in the diplomatic service.

(keener would be to coat them in chocolate :-) )

[Bill Wright]

It's quite easy to coat sheep droppings in chocolate.

Bill

[damduck-egg]

Ply'd em with other things.

G.Harman