An elderly friend rang me. He never introduces himself on the phone, or asks if it's convenient, or begins with small talk. He just starts to tell his tale. He speaks on the phone as if he's addressing a public meeting and PA systems haven't yet been invented.
"Our Joan's having trouble with her tingle. Do you know owt about 'em?"
Well the fact is, Joan hasn't been well. She had a stroke in March and since then she's had all sorts of weird symptoms. So for the sake of finding something to say I asked, "Where does she get it?"
"It's the same everywhere. At home, in the motorhome, everywhere."
"No, I mean, where is it on her body?"
"In her hand. Sometimes on her knee. Or on the chair arm."
"Sounds nasty..."
"It goes black."
"What?"
"Yes, after five minutes. Anyway she's here now. [to Joan:] I was just asking Bill about your tingle."
Joan: "Kindle! Kindle! Not tingle! Oh he's getting worse! Hello Bill love, how are you?"
So I gave them the phone number of a nice guy I know. He knows all about Kindles and suchlike gizmos.
Bill