OT: It could only happen to Desmond....

[The Medway Handyman]

Somebody fly tipped some rubbish on a site I look after on the local industrial estate. A fridge, bed base, mattress & parts of a wardrobe.

Local authority wouldn't help, private road, several local clearance companies quoted ridiculous prices to remove it.

It occurred to me that Desmond has a Volvo estate & a large trailer. He agreed to remove the stuff at a reduced price - nice little earner for him though.

Desmond calls me today to ask where the rubbish is. I tell him "second right as you come onto the estate, outside the motor factors".

Desmond calls later on to say he has collected the fridge, but no trace whatsoever of the bed or wardrobe. Desmond has searched the area.

A long discussion about who would steal an old bed & mattress occurs.

Then we twig whats happened.

Desmond lives at the other end of town & uses the other road onto the estate. Second right leads to a different motor factor, who coincidentally has a fly tipped fridge outside :-)

[stuart noble]

Neighbours put a dishwasher out front pending somebody taking it to the tip. It was gone next morning. Nobody wants Ikea slatted beds though. Last one I salvaged saved me a good few quid in timber

[Andy Burns]

I was expecting the tale to end with Desmond getting caught for not having a waste carrier's permit ...

[Jethro_uk]

This reminds me of a story a breakdown driver told me a few years ago. He was given the keys to pickup a blue F-reg Metro, that had broken down in a supermarket car park. He got there, found the car, opened it, turned the ignition on to disable the steering lock, and started loading it onto the spectacle lift .... only to be confronted by a very angry owner.

Turned out the breakdown was the other end of the car park ...

[Huge]

The last time I reported a fly tipped fridge in the lane we live on, the guy from the council found another 2 while he was looking for "mine".

[Tim Watts]

My Dad did that once. 1970's. Coming back from the shops, he said he'd get something from our white Fiat 131 parked outside our house. Opened the door, got in, was rummaging around the glovebox when he realised something was not quite right.

Looked over and saw *our* car parked in the drive!

He did not try the ignition key (which was different to the door key) but quietly locked it up and wandered off whistling.

[fred]

Happened my father as well. Came back to car . Key wouldn't work/ Called mechanic who came and opened it . Angry owner then turned up. Apologies and explanations all round. The mechanic charged a half crown. L-o-o-o-ng time ago

[Jethro_uk]

Ignition locks on FIATs were quite good - door locks less so. But that was true of all cars. Neighbour once locked his keys inside his Jag, and asked my Dad for a hand. My Dad went over, asked if the neighbour would fetch a coat hanger, and while he was inside used a screwdriver to open the lock, opened a rear door, and then locked the front. When neighbour came our my Dad made a show of trying the doors and "discovering" the open rear door, to a surprised look on the neighbours face.

As we walked away, I was told to never show people you can pick locks ...

[Andrew Gabriel]

I was at an international meeting at ETSI in France. Several of us had hired cars, but one of the delegates couldn't remember at all what car he'd hired at the end of the first day. We all stood laughing as he walked up and down the car park, trying the key in every car. This was some time before remote control locks.

Another case was when I was working at GEC at Borehamwood. We had some visitors over from Marconi in Rome, and they'd driven all the way in a company car, which was a tiny little Fiat. We were all about to set off from the car park to eat somewhere, when they managed to lock their keys in the Fiat. They had some international cover which translated to the AA in this country, so we called the AA, and all stood around chatting whilst waiting.

AA man arrived, and grabbed a hammer from the back of his van. We were somewhat puzzled, but the Italians started shouting and screeming, obviously thinking the hammer was about to go through the side window. However, the AA man reached under the wheel arch, and tapped it with the hammer, and all the door locks poped up. I think we were both horrified and amazed at the ease of unlocking the car.

[Jethro_uk]

Wasn't there an urban legend that you could unlock some BMWs by using half a tennis ball and "popping" the air-pressure central locking ?

[The Medway Handyman]

It does get funnier. When he found the right place, there were now two fridges dumped :-)

[ARW]

I once made a wiring loom that could open most 1990s Vauxhalls (it never worked on Novas) if you pulled open the drivers side wheel arch plastic cover.

This was NOT invented to steal cars just to open locked cars.

[Bill Wright]

Years ago I knocked on the door of 32 Chambers Rd and said I'd come to fit the new TV aerial. The very old bloke didn't have much to say but he let me in and showed me where the TV set was. I removed the old aerial, which was in very poor condition, installed the new aerial, tuned the TV, and got paid. As I was putting the ladders back on the van my phone rang. It was the customer from 32 Chambers Ave wondering why I hadn't turned up. I realised what had happened and just a few moments later a woman came up the street carrying two bags of shopping. She asked me what I was doing. I said I'd fitted the new aerial as requested. She said, 'We haven't asked for a new aerial! Who was it rung you up?" "It was that old man who's in now, I think." "Just you hang on here a minute!" she yelled, and went into the house. I scarpered.

Bill

[Scott M]

That was Mercs. Probably due to their use of pneumatics on some cars.

[chris French]

I had a Mk3 Cortina you could open with the handle end of teaspoon

(though I'm now wondering what made me try that in the first place)