Here are a few telltale signs.
- On the stage you'll see a pair of inept and untrustworthy candidates: a vile, uncaring harridan and a super rich posh boy utterly out of touch with anyone outside his social circles.
- An aged audience comprising fawning blue-rince boilers and ghastly gammons.
- A notable absence of black faces in the audience.
- A bloke running around with a mop clearing up the leaked piss.
To think people like this will choose the next PM is a truly bleak and depressing prospect.
But what choice do they have? It's akin to asking someone "What would you like for breakfast, dogshit or pigshit?"