These call centres you get through to these days often end up with asking: "Is there anything else i can help you with"? I usually say can you come around and mend my washing machine.
Usually I get a laugh at the other end and the voice seems to cheer up a bit. Sometimes they think i'm a nutter and actually explain they cannot provide that service.
Any other amusing responses to being asked that same old boring question that people use or can think of?
When I called Three to cancel my contract and get my PAC....
The guy kept offering me deals, and I kept refusing. Then, time and time again it got tedious:
Q. "What can Three do for you?" A. "Nothing." Q. "But what can Three do for you?" A. "Give me a thousand pounds?" Q. "Yes, but what can Three do for you?" A. "Give me my PAC..." Q. "Yes, but what can Three do for you?" A. "Give me my PAC..." Q. "Yes, but what can Three do for you?" A. "Give me my PAC..." Q. "Yes, but what can Three do for you?" A. "Give me my PAC..." Q. "Yes, but what can Three do for you?" A. "Give me my PAC..." Q. "Yes, but what can Three do for you?" A. "Give me my PAC..." Q. "Yes, but what can Three do for you?" A. "Give me my PAC..." . . . (eventually he gave me the PAC).
I have two more to do soon.
"Could I have a sentence ending in a preposition please?"
"Thanks."
Not really the ones in this country ask you that, most of the others seem not to bother any more.
Brian
No sorry, we don't.
Brian
Not a call centre, bod knocks on the door - How are you today? Fine, what are you selling? I'm not selling anything Ok, i'm just having my dinner, d'you mind if I carry on with it? No, would you like me to call back later. Not particularly.
It's not just call centres - you often get it in face to face places, like banks. But the thing that really gets me about my bank is that, when I eventually get to the front of a long queue, the cashier says "Thanks for waiting". My usual response is "Did I have a choice?"
Anther one is in a supermarket where, despite the fact that (s)he can see that I've got my shopping bags all nicely laid out in my trolley, the checkout operator is forced[1] by the on-screen prompt to ask "Do you need any help with your packing?" My usual response to that one is "Not unless you've got very long arms!"
[1] Apparently they get checked up on by the occasional "mystery shopper" to make sure they ask you everything which their droid-type prompts require them to ask, and get penalised if they fail to do so. Sadly, long gone are the days of common sense and discretion!
a few more: I think I'm beyond help Can you solve my life problems? Ah, where do I begin? or Maybe you can get the fckr in the basement to do what I say
NT
I get that even when I'm using the big rucsack - most tilldroids would fall in (there was one rather tasty, ~4'8" Asian one where I was tempted...). It also needs some skill to pack everything into carrier bags so that the soft stuff survives the 9-mile ride home if I'm on the bike.
'Can you come and do my ironing' was the last one I used. It got a amused response.
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