DIY Coffin

The message from Huge contains these words:

I'm neither defending the American practice nor acting as a proponent of it. Merely trying to give an indication of what generally takes place. "And it's a closed casket!" tends to be a piece of gossip that goes round, uttered in hushed tones with an air of speculation as to the reason why. For myself I can see no reason that I would want to have a coffin open.

When I first went to North America I was warned that if an older woman might ask "Would you like to see a picture of my husband?" I shouldn't be shocked if the picture produced showed him in his casket. I thought it was a crazy warning, but within one week it actually happened! I believe in Florida it's quite common to have the walls of one's best room decorated by "life"-size photos of the ancestors in their caskets. I'd prefer to refer to them as "death-size," but that's not quite my idea of desirable interior decor. However, tastes vary!

Reply to
Appin
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Funeral director's profit.

Funeral director's profit.

Funeral director's profit.

Funeral director's profit.

Funeral director's profit.

Funeral director's profit.

Owain

Reply to
Owain

Holy moley. Talk about two nations divided by a common language...

Reply to
Lobster

When he was pushing us to come and view MIL, the funeral director described all this as "hygenic treatment", which involved a 3-figure sum AFAICR. Of all the euphemisms I'd heard that day, I thought that one took the biscuit.

David

Reply to
Lobster

Agreed. The guy I knew was in his early 20's and not the sort to be dressed up in a suite and wearing make-up. It all seemed rather over the top, and personally more distressing than the actual act of his passing.

Reply to
Jules

Apparently, when not done properly, you can have a situation where the family are all gathered around dear old uncle bertie on display in his coffin, and can become quite distressed when uncle bertie suddenly lets out a fart. A long time ago, I saw a programme about embalming, and it was said that 100 or more years back, this was not uncommon with cheap funerals for the poor.

Reply to
Andrew Gabriel

Would have thought a pressure-relief valve (a Bic biro up the bum?) is all that would have been required to sort out that problem. Then again I suppose there's probably liquids involved too.

Reminds me of when SWMBO, as a newly-qualified medic, was called to the ward to certify that a terminal patient had died. After the requisite amount of poking, prodding and whatever else is required to ascertain that death had indeed occurred, she stood up to confirm this to the relatives at the bedside. At that point, the deceased let out an almighty bellow as his last breath was released, apparently causing all present (including SWMBO) to become elevated several inches off the floor.

David

Reply to
Lobster

A bit of both really. As a small child I do remember a wake that was open coffin. It was quite wierd. It was my great aunty who had died and suspect that her funeral wishes were followed to the letter. I remember everyone having to walk through the house and the coffin was in the lounge. A very different situation to Tims personal choice to have a private viewing (below).

I have never gone to a viewing. It is my personal choice. Each to their own.

Adam

Reply to
ARWadsworth

Frangible filler (squashy bag stuffing) Otherwise any sort of "vent" has some obvious problems

Yes.

My favourite version of that was from an old sailor with many tales of death & dismemberment on the high seas. He'd once had a passenger die on board, necessitating the body to be carried quietly ashore down the gangplank, wrapped in a sheet.

As the body hinged between the two sailors carrying it, the air was forcecd out with a deep mournful groan...

At which point, the other matelot screamed, dropped their end of the body and took a jump clean over the gangplank and into the water.

Reply to
Andy Dingley

But not for a burial at sea...!

Reply to
Bob Eager

My Grandmother who departed herself long ago never got over the experience of visiting Her Grandmother in her coffin. A young child at the time she was forced to kiss Granny one last time on the forehead by pushy relatives.

G.Harman

Reply to
damduck-egg

snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.co.uk coughed up some electrons that declared:

I asked mine and she wanted to go - certainly wouldn't have pushed her.

She knew what she was doing and even picked some flowers of her own volition.

But I agree, being forced into these things could do more harm than good.

Cheers

Tim

Reply to
Tim S

Maybe not the case with your youngsters; but persoinally I can't help feeling that when very young kids are involved, with the best of intentions, their natural feelings of morbid curiosity surpass other emotions when deciding these things. In the end we didn't take up the undertaker's offer ourselves, or offer our kids the opportunity.

David

Reply to
Lobster

The message from Owain contains these words:

Yes, of course.

Though the online guest books normal in North America are actually a good thing, as indeed are the guest books at visiting hours.

Reply to
Appin

The message from Huge contains these words:

No, it didn't come over as an attack on me. In any case, I've no quarrel with my views being attacked. supposing you had been attacking them. An attack on one's views is very different from an attack on one's person :-). And the experience of different people differs. I've been to hundreds of funerals in the US and Canada and have a large folder full of permits for funerals I've actually conducted myself across North America.

Reply to
Appin

The message from "ARWadsworth" contains these words:

A whole lot less disconcerting than viewing the dear departed in the bed they've just died in, I can assure you -- and that's happened to me more than once !

Easier to avoid in the UK than in North America.

Reply to
Appin

The message from Tim S contains these words:

Whether or not one lets kids view the remains (and in my view they're in the main not at all as squeamish as most adults and are generally very matter-of-fact about such things) I think it's a bit strange to exclude them from the funeral. The reality of the funeral may be dreadful, but the reality of being excluded from it is far worse, IMHO.

Reply to
Appin

I only recently found out the following. My father died when I was quite young. The coffin was in the front room of his parents' house. My mother was taken in to view him, not that she wanted to - and his sister started pulling him up so his PM 'scars' could be shown off. (She always was an odd sort of a person.)

It was my mother's worst fear for a few hours that my aunt would take me in as well.

Reply to
Rod

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember "R" saying something like:

That lower section is handy for all sorts of things.

Reply to
Grimly Curmudgeon

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember "OG" saying something like:

If I wasn't dead at the time, I'd laugh like f*ck.

Reply to
Grimly Curmudgeon

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