Blocked loo

A friend of my brother had a problem the the toilet keeping blocking, and having to call out a plumber. He asked the plumber why it kept blocking.

"Well, Mr. Hawes," the plumber replied, "it's like this. You've got a 4 inch waste pipe, and a 6 inch arse..."

Fortunately, friend thought the comment was hilarious.

Reply to
Andrew Gabriel
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Otherwise known as "pinchin' off a pipe choker"!

Reply to
Dean Heighington

My colonoscopist recommended Fybogel to achieve loose stools. It works! No more blockage.

MM

Reply to
MM

This newsgroup is plumbing new areas of D-I-Y ...

Nick

Reply to
Nick Leverton

If all else fails, angle grinder.

Reply to
Dave Plowman (News)

It saves sawing off the longest leg of the stool.............

Reply to
Davey

Turds probably too close to 1 on the scale

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Reply to
82045

For his colon?

Reply to
Tim Watts

Reply to
robgraham

A friend of my brother had a problem the the toilet keeping blocking, and having to call out a plumber. He asked the plumber why it kept blocking.

"Well, Mr. Hawes," the plumber replied, "it's like this. You've got a 4 inch waste pipe, and a 6 inch arse..."

Fortunately, friend thought the comment was hilarious.

I find a squirt of WD40 daily up the chuff works wonders....Stops the local pumping station rusting too

Reply to
Londonman

I?ve just had a leaflet from Anglian Water that says at the top ?love every drop? and then in larger letters ?Make the most of your sewerage services?. I?m not sure what they are trying to encourage with that?

Reply to
Jon Fairbairn

scale

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Seems that the boblocker and bend-straightener are missing from that list. Types 6 and 7 'cover' pebble-dashing etc.

Reply to
PeterC

That's also kind what the colonoscopist said, too.

MM

Reply to
MM

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>Good one !

That's the kind of remark I aim for every morning.

MM

Reply to
MM

It was exactly the same for the stout guiness and cheddar, fortunately for me, I was in the small bedroom next door to the bathroom. If I had been any further away, I would have not made it to the bog......

Stephen

Reply to
Stephen

Many moons ago I did a stint as a hospital cleaner. Actually really enjoyed most of it. But every so often we would be called to X-ray. It was always that someone, having been given a barium enema, had not been successful in holding on to it. Used to be amazed that it would be spattered across the ceiling...

Reply to
polygonum

I had terrible trouble with one of those. The barium insertion was no trouble at all, neither was the air which they inject. When it was all over I was still fine. A few mins later things got quite painful but I got in the car and drove home during which I had the worst pains I've ever had in my life caused purely by the air. It lasted about an hour and was torture.

Re: constipation, after a day or so and things don't look like moving, get some Lactulose syrup (over the counter) down your neck, 10-15ml 3-4 times a day. It usually shifts it in a day or two.

Mind how you go.

Reply to
brass monkey

LOL was that the Fleet stuff?. Took some nothing happened for around 10 mins then !! MAN THE BOATS!! RUN FOR IT!!!.. Jezz that sure does what it sez on the tin!...

Well I was very apprehensive before I had mine the consultant didn't like the symptoms over 55 and rectal bleeding that wasn't piles..

Was given a very good anaesthetic and didn't remember a thing apart from waking up and wondering when they were going to start!..

Anyways was told that they found a pre cancerous polyp and snipped it out an a potential case of Bowel cancer prevented:)...

Recommended to anyone over 55 odd and/or with a family history of the illness....

Some interesting vids here and do NOT attempt this as a DIY project;!...

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Reply to
tony sayer

The Bowel Cancer Screening Team at Lincoln said I have to have another scan every two years till I'm 75. Next one due in 2012. Last time they found evidence of diverticulosis, but no polyps and the biopies were negative.

Really looking forward to that cup of tea and a biscuit afterwards, though...

MM

Reply to
MM

Couple of years ago I had a bad case of Winter Vomiting[1] Virus and didn't even get as far as the ambulance. I was passing in and out of conciosness, so didn't really notice myself.

[1]Slightly misnamed. ;)

MM wrote:

Hmmm. The more I read the more I keep telling myself I should get mine at the other end rechecked, it's 15 years since they were looked at and I've noticed odd tightnesses and nosebleeds occuring recently.

JGH

Reply to
jgharston

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