Best tool for the job Pt13

[Simon Mason]

Where am I at the moment?

[Nick]

Doggerland?

[Brian Gaff]

You are aliving jpeg? Brian

[Andy Bennet]

Shit creek?

[dtypenand]

Dangling from a weather balloon munching a pie?

[Reg]

[Judith]

Looking for friends somewhere?

[Simon Mason]

Thanks for dobbing me in to the DVLA for driving whilst unfit and injured - that was a good one!

Letter is in the post to Swansea, as we say.

[James Wilkinson Sword]

On Mon, 19 Dec 2016 22:57:58 -0000, Simon Mason wro= te:

red - that was a good one!

Do tell....

-- =

FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica , 45 volumes.=

Excellent condition, =A3200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

[James Wilkinson Sword]

On Sat, 17 Dec 2016 06:18:01 -0000, Simon Mason wro= te:

Drowning?

-- =

FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica , 45 volumes.=

Excellent condition, =A3200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

[Simon Mason]

I got a letter yesterday from the DVLA stating that a 3rd party had reported me as being advised by my GP not to drive due to my smashed in left leg that a lorry ran over. "judith" will have done it.

[GB]

You seem to have a fungal nail infection of your right big toe.

[Judith]

No probs. - they told me they would ask for a letter from your doctor - is that what they did? I suggested also a letter from a psychiatrist - but they actually said they were not concerned about your mental state. I didn't think that was very good - as people here have such concerns

Haven't BG been in touch yet regarding your free electricity?

[Simon Mason]

Nope - I am still on the smart meter waiting list and they are very busy at the moment with other matters to bother about a poxy semi near Hull as the y can't seem to get competent staff these days, which is why I will be taki ng home £2500 pcm next year due to my unique skillset.

[Judith]

Oh dear - yet another letter needed :

".........in distress as do the police on a weekly basis as I hear them on my scanner."

Is it not illegal to listen to police radio communication?

[Simon Mason]

Yes - here was my reply. Letter is the the post as we speak.

[Simon Mason]

It's not the police, but Humber Rescue talking to the cop helicopter in the clear. Beside which, it is an unwanted EM radiation that is invading my property and I am entitled to see what its nature is.

[Jim GMDHJ ...]

you are well behind the times...I suggest you don't write a letter about that .....It's called wasting police time.....

[Judith]

So it invades your property by the f*ck-off aerial you have put up on your house.

Did you need planning permission for that?

[Judith]

Did the advert say "Fuckwit needed" then?

(Did you tell them you had tried to top yourself? - What did they say?)