Mary had a little dress, 'Twas split right up the sides And every time she wore that dress The men could see her thighs.
Mary had another dress 'Twas split right up the front. She didn't wear that one very often.
Mary had a little pig. She couldn't stop it gruntin', So she took it down the garden shed And kicked its little "couldn't" in.
Mary had a little lamb And tied it to a pylon. The electric spark flew up its arse And turned its wool to nylon.