Just remembering a story I heard long ago. A tree hugger was showing another person how to save toilet paper by using all of a single sheet of toilet paper to clean his behind after a dump. "Take the sheet and fold it in half and then fold that in half. Tear a piece of the inner corner off. Open the folded sheet with the hole now in the center of the sheet. Stick your index finger in the hole and wipe your bum". The guy says "Yeah, but what do you do with that piece you tore out of the center" "Use that clean your fingernail"
(groan)