Like what Dave Ramsey said the other day that he believes in a safety net but not a hammock.
The safety net gives shelter and prevents starvation, the hammock satisfies all wants.
This is what our entitlement society has become with not enough incentive to help yourself.
I think his natural mother is alive, but is a drug abuser. He was not staying with her.
I asked which state he is in because each state has its own system regarding children and youth services. That includes who is eligible for services, what ages they serve, how they fund those services, etc.
I went to the Alabama Department of Human Resources website and, to be honest, it is pretty lame. It is not easy to find any meaningful information on that website, including even what ages of "children and youth" they actually serve. It looks like the hub or contact point for services is at the County level, but of course, when I click on any individual County on their website all that comes up is an error message.
Here are a couple of almost-useless links from the Alabama Department of Human Resources website:
But, at least they may give you a little idea of what they may have available for someone this kids age.
Mostly, what I was looking for is to see what programs or servcies they have for children and youth who are transitioning into adulthood. The federal government has had a big push on for states to provide programs for children and youth who are "aging out" of the system; usually meaning kids who are 16 or 17 through 21 years of age and who have grown up in foster care or other programs.
My guess is that you'll find that this kid was "in the system", meaning that he received some kind of subsidy or assistance and he may have been in a state funded foster home, therapeutic home, etc. Usually, when a kid is (or was) "in the system", he/she is eligible for some types of transitional or independent living programs up to or including age 21.
And, as others have suggested, my guess is that he bombed out of whatever program he was in with the family who let him stay until he graduated from high school. That doesn't mean that he can't get into another program, but it is very possible that he keeps bombing out of his placements because he won't do what he needs to do, won't cooperate with his caretakers and is oppositional and defiant, or runs the streets at all hours, or is involved with drugs and/or criminal/delinquent behavior. So, there is a good chance that even if you could "help" him by helping him find a program to get into, he'll bomb out. Regular teens who have a job and are generally motivated and cooperative with their caretakers don't get booted out of every place that they live.
He may also have mental health issues and may or may not be on psychiatric meds (or he is supposed to be on them but refuses to take them). I mention this last part about the meds because the military will not take kids who have certain mental health issues and/or are on certain mental health medications.
As you may have already guessed, I have lots of experience in working with kids in this age range who are, or have been, in out-of-home placements for various reasons (family problems, behavior problems, mental health issues, etc.). I have this experience through my various work settings over the years and at present, as well as for the past 2 years trying to help two older teens/young-adults with similar issues of being homeless etc.
In general, I agree with what a number of people here have said that no matter what you do or try to do to help this kid, there is a good chance that inherent in his personality are qualities that will cause him to not benefit from your help or help from anyone else. This can be due to lack of motivation, lack of social skills, a "the world owes me" mentality, genuine mental health issues, drug and/or crime involvement, etc.
Despite all of the above, I still try to help kids in these situations as much as I can, and it sounds like you would like to a least do a little to try in this kid's case.
If you want to do that, I would suggest some or all of the following:
Find out where the local County office for children and youth services is located and have the kid contact them. If he was "in the system", they will know him. And, if he was in but bombed out, they won't be very enthused about the idea of continuing to try to help him. They may be just as happy to cut him loose and keep him off the taxpayers' dole. But, they may have transitional or independent living programs for which he would be eligible.
If he qualifies, the idea of him joining the military is a good one. It's definitely 3 hots and a cot, and it's a paid job. If he is just a knucklehead that managed to get himself "homeless", and if he does not have a serious mental health issues and/or mental health meds, they may be glad to take him in.
Have him look for a "social services" (welfare?) office in his County and go there and apply for benefits. There are federal "food stamps" (called SNAP) programs for which he is probably eligible if he is not working. He may also qualify for "GA" (General Assistance) which is a small monthly stipend until he gets a job. Most of these programs are funded through the federal government but managed through the local County social services ("welfare") offices.
Have him go to some temporary help employment agencies to sign up for work. They send people out on temporary assignments doing things like working in a warehouse, unloading trucks and railroad boxcars, working on factory assembly lines, etc. They have many applicants who do not have transportation and they can either pick jobs sites for them near transportation or, in some cases, the workers meet at the temp help place and take a van or ride in a co-worker's car to get to work and back.
I wouldn't worry too much about finding "shelters" or similar places for homeless people. So far, he seems to be okay doing the couch surfing routine that he has going on with friends and others. Plus, the homeless shelter programs are really gross and not suited for someone his age.
Good luck.
you should reconsider throwing him out with strict rules to prevent a reoccurence of whatever made you blow a fuse.......
lets imagine for a moment the kid while homeless dies, will YOU for the remainder of your life regret throwing him out?
I believe in trying to help people.
When I was a child my family refused to help a realtive, who they believed was wealthy. after we found him dead just weeks later it turned out he had no money, and although inconvenient if we had helped him it would of been good for us too.....
I strongly believe in what goes around comes around:)
the world would be a far better place if more people lended a helping hand
P.S. I just noticed that this link says,
"Youth Covered By Policy
All youth ages fourteen (14) years and older served by DHR shall receive IL services. This includes:
a.. Youth in DHR custody who are currently living in a licensed approved out-of-home care placement or who are on a trial home visit; a.. Youth receiving on-going protective services; and a.. Youth ages eighteen through twenty years who (1) have been discharged from the system of care, (2) were in foster care on or prior to their eighteenth birthday, and (3) have returned to DHR to request services."
That last paragraph means that if the kid that you want to help was "in the system" before age 18, he can return and ask for transitional or independent living services.
Thanks for your suggestions.
Like what Dave Ramsey said the other day that he believes in a safety net but not a hammock.
The safety net gives shelter and prevents starvation, the hammock satisfies all wants.
This is what our entitlement society has become with not enough incentive to help yourself.
I think his natural mother is alive, but is a drug abuser. He was not staying with her.
To the point, well said.
Keeps bombing out of placements. I'm remembering a friend from years ago. He adopted a boy of about 14, who had been in the system. Intelligent, cheerful, handsome, and very talented boy. But, he'd developed a pattern of bombing out. As much as my friend tried to help, finally had to take the kid back to the "system" and it was a sad day for us all.
And, as others have suggested, my guess is that he bombed out of whatever program he was in with the family who let him stay until he graduated from high school. That doesn't mean that he can't get into another program, but it is very possible that he keeps bombing out of his placements because he won't do what he needs to do, won't cooperate with his caretakers and is
oppositional and defiant, or runs the streets at all hours, or is involved with drugs and/or criminal/delinquent behavior. So, there is a good chance that even if you could "help" him by helping him find a program to get into, he'll bomb out. Regular teens who have a job and are generally motivated and cooperative with their caretakers don't get booted out of every place that they live.
Good luck.
I have just taken on having my sister, my nephew and my niece moving in with me. I really feel sorry for my nephew's friend, but I am spread too thin to take any more.
Makes perfect sense, to me. However, professional dependants may try various manipulation to get back into your house.
I have just taken on having my sister, my nephew and my niece moving in with me. I really feel sorry for my nephew's friend, but I am spread too thin to take any more.
Metspitzer wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@4ax.com:
You idiot. 167 line message, and you responded with 4 words. Please just go to Google...
Hmmm, I call human like that young or old regardless of sex perennial loser. Dumb = Too smart = reverse smart.(Old Chinese saying)
Well, we actually have oil wells in the western and southwestern parts of the state.
Well, we actually have oil wells in the western and southwestern parts of the state.
Sadly, with the sequester and the withdrawal from AfRaq things aren't looking good for new hires or the newly retired. I believe the Pentagon is scheduled to cut 80,000 positions so tham means they can be pretty selective now about who they hire, which they are when they can afford to be.
Even worse is that vets represent a very high proportion of the nation's homeless.
Funny you should mention that because my wife's working with a Vet's group on a case that involves a well-trained AF mechanic whose skills are *not* readily transferrable because working on maintainence requires specific airframe certification so working on a F22 doesn't mean a lot to the airlines. Beyond that, much aircraft mechanical and maintainence work (as I understand it) is now done largely offshore by contractors in countries with lower wages.
There was a time, like you, I would have said "join up" but vets are having such a hard time reintegrating into civilian society these days that I don't see the future I used to see in a military life. Funds for retraining and reintegrating former soldiers into society were among the first to go in the cutbacks.
I have a friend whose recent HS graduate son is holed up in his room playing video games and she's about to start charging rent and board to at least encourage him to go to community college. She's at a loss to figure out how to motivate him. I wish I had an answer for Metzspitzer but I haven't been able to help my own friends. This post-crash generation of kids seems to be really adrift. Unemployment among unskilled young people is much higher than the national average. That true of veterans, too.
You know, there are people who provide foster care solely for the money. When the money stops coming in, the kid is no longer welcome to stick around. I have a relative whose mother had a houseful of foster kids along with her own; it was her primary source of income. For all we know, this kid was kicked out simply because his caretakers wouldn't or couldn't feed and house him at their own expense.
My youngest sister has a house full of 'throwaway' teenagers, along with her own two kids. These are kids whose parents are world-class fuckups or just plain abusive - but the kids are good kids. Her children got to know them at school and brought them home to visit. The throwaways live with her family most or all of the time because their parents either can't or won't take care of them - but they won't relinquish them to foster care, either. So my sister and her husband are unofficial foster parents and raise the kids as their own, at their own expense.
Two of the kids will be starting college this fall, including one who was recently reclaimed by his mother, who met a guy on the internet and impulsively decided she and her son had to move to Texas right away to live with her new boyfriend. Of course, once they showed up on his doorstep he wanted nothing to do with either of them. The mom had no money left and no place to go. The kid was frantic, because he'd been accepted to a college back home and knew he had no future in Texas beyond living on the streets. My sister bought him a bus ticket and he left his mom and came back 'home'.
One of her previous throwaways actually auditioned for and was accepted to Ringling Bros. clown college several years ago. That's what he always wanted to do, so she drove him to Wisconsin where he passed the audition. Now he works for the circus, of all things.
Sometimes the kids are screwups, but just as often it is that they are being raised by parents who don't give a damn about them and never did.
Carpenter, you've once again shown the proof of an old adage.
There are more horse's asses than horses.
On Mon, 15 Jul 2013 08:03:19 -0500, Moe DeLoughan wrote in Re Re: OT Homeless:
snip
Interesting and heartwarming story Moe. Thanks for relating it.
Sounds reasonable.
This sounds like a kid who was in foster care and "aged out". That means the state no longer pays the foster parents for his support.
Alabama has a lot of less than affluent areas and some folks take in kids to help them but can't afford to help without that stipend.
Tell the kid to contact DHR to see what assistance is available.
Start here.
They can give him some guidance.
Frankly, I am bothered by a lot of responders here whose approach is to blame the kid.
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