How to fix my garden hose?

[G Henslee]

You should probably kill yourself.

[blondie69]

I just planted my flower garden and wanted to water it. I went to get the hose. Thats when I remembered it dont work anymore. In January I pulled the hose out of the snow so I could wash the dog because he stunk. Water would not come out of the hose. I called my boyfriend and he came over and told me the hose was frozen. I suppose that could happen because it was below zero but I still did not understand why water would not come out. He told me the reason was because the hose was clogged up with ice. I dont know how ice got inside the hose but I guess he was right because water did not come out. I had to carry a heavy pail of water outside to wash the dog and that hurt my back and I was in bed for 5 days. That was a really a waste of time too because the dog died 2 days later.

Anyhow, thats all over and the snow is gone and its hot and sunny. It was 88 degrees today so I just planted my flowers. But now I got a big problem. I need to water the flowers but I dont have a hose. My boyfriend left me for a brunette so I cant ask him for help anymore. Maybe someone on here can help. How do I unclog the hose to get all the ice out of it? Or do I have to buy a new hose? I really do not want to buy a new one because I lost my job after I told my boss's wife that I was sleeping with my boss after he cheated on me with Sally Rogers who works in the Complaints Dept.

Can anyone help?

Blondie

[Oscar_Lives]

I have a hose you can use. You may have to suck on it for a while to get the flow going...

[Tony Hwang]

Hi, Troll! Tony

[Drifter]

So it's a troll... at least its a FUNNY troll. Ah well, into the killfile anyway.

Drifter "I've been here, I've been there..."

[Gideon]

Stop! Do not try to unclog the hose until you have determine how the ice got inside the hose!. That would be similar to adding Freon to an air conditioner before determining where the leak is. If you unclog the hose and use it without determining how the ice got inside it, then you'll just have the same problem again the next time it gets cold outside. You may want to contact a drain cleaning & inspection company such as Roto-Rooter. They have miniture cameras which can be run up a drain or a hose for inspection purposes. The Roto-Rooter guys may even offer to toss in a free gynecological exam.

====================

Anyhow, thats all over and the snow is gone and its hot and sunny. It was 88 degrees today so I just planted my flowers. But now I got a big problem. I need to water the flowers but I dont have a hose. My boyfriend left me for a brunette so I cant ask him for help anymore. Maybe someone on here can help. How do I unclog the hose to get all the ice out of it? Or do I have to buy a new hose? I really do not want to buy a new one because I lost my job after I told my boss's wife that I was sleeping with my boss after he cheated on me with Sally Rogers who works in the Complaints Dept.

Can anyone help?

Blondie

[Sally Rogers]

You lying bitch! I never slept with him, we were taking tea together one night, nothing else happened. He told me how you told his wife you'd slept with him and he was concerned about the repercussions, we were friends, still are, I'm on good terms with his wife, she trusts me, despite the fact I have a model figure and I'm a good looking woman. You're such an asshole! Have you no discretion? He was never going to leave her for you, you're not a good enough lover to keep him satisfied. Shame about that, you could have earned enough for a new hose if you took it up as a profession and could find a mug that would pay you. Try putting a paper bag over your head when you look for custom. You give blondes a bad name you are SO thick and to think ice is still in the hose you gotta be a couple of pints short of a quart. PS Thanks to the guy that tipped me off about this asshole trying to blacken my good name.