if you put your phone in a microwave and bring it to verizon will the guy know?

Only if the Verizon guy notices melted plastic housing and  burst batteries and other internal components. Anything that's metal will heat up inside and melt everything that isn't. Why would you propose such a dangerous method? If you don't like your phone so much, why don't you just upgrade it?

Did you know you can actually donate your old cell phone for a good cause?

I came across this link today and though you might be interested in the outcomes of a similar case:

Basically, bottom line is that the cell phone provider gets the manufacturer involved who isn't shy about bringing a professional fire investigator in and having them look at the device to determine the cause. It's understandable, too: the quality of their product is on the line.

And the end result would be: you will end up destroying your phone and very unlikely getting a new one as a replacement.