Re: Genuinely menacing

[Ragout]

It's impractical to share a furry toilet seat due to careless wee-wee

> winkles. Far better to invest in a decent seat, preferably a glow in the > dark model. Fortunately, we live in an age where technology is advancing > rapidly and they're not that expensive nowadays. The newer style is > Strontium Aluminate with Europium as an activator and that powder is > embedded into the toilet seats.

These new fangled toilet seats are all very well but what about their cleaning? How do they take to a drop of bleach or a good scrub with a dab of Ajax? I really don't know what our Grandmothers would have made of all this. Ragout

[Barbecue Bob]

We mix that stuff in salt licks for the deer, the antelope, and the varmints. It makes them easy to shoot at night. We use the hides for furry, glowing toilet seats. They're very popular in Beverly Hills.

Our grannies preferred the kind that could be snapped off the hinges, run through the washing machine, and hung out on the line. That's the kind we use in my restaurants. To keep the seats clean, we don't put them back on. With our generous servings of beverages and the cozy lighting in our restrooms, our customers have yet to notice the absense of unnecessary hardware.

[Ross Galloway]

Sounds like a trousers round the ankles feet on the door cos there ain't no lock on the door kind of establishment we all know that that can ruin ones evening eh kids?

rg

[Sweep]

I went someplace tonight, it was supposed to be classy and newly refurbished but they had no seats on their toilets. The pan was like a moulded stainless steel that incorporated the shape of a seat, well almost. Very hygienic and SF looking I suppose but not very comfy, not that I sat down on it. the glow in the dark stuff would be good for the chain. I can never find that sort of flush when I've had a few and it's dark.

[Ragout]

Hi Bob Have you thought about putting fatted calf on the menu this week? Ragout

[e]

i miss the tank on the wall terlits. when i got pissed i could always lean into the chain and flush while i passed out.

[e]

hummingbird tongues in aspic would be quite nice.

[Ragout]

There was an excellent recipe floating around Usenet a couple of years back for Tongue with Apricots.

[rooner in space]

[e-mail] (e) went:

the chain and flush while i passed out.

you mean you people actually flush toilets when you're out on the piss somewhere? next you'll be saying you clear up your own sick.

[rooner in space]

[e-mail] (Ragout) went:

tongue? bleugh. eat what? but it's been in someone else's mouth.

[e]

like you've never had your tongue in someone elses mouth?

[e]

if we didn't our mum's would hide us.

[rooner in space]

[e-mail] (e) went:

would they hide you in a cupboard?

[e]

hide as in removing a layer.

[rooner in space]

[e-mail] (e) went:

like the invisible man when he takes his bandages off?

[rooner in space]

[e-mail] (e) went:

i've had it worse places than that, which is why i would never eat one. but it was a viv stanshall quote i'm surprised you missed.

[e]

what bit is that from? can't place it.

[e]

like me mum when i was a sprog.

[rooner in space]

[e-mail] (e) went:

sir henry at rawlinson end, but i can't remember which episode it was from. you must know it if you've heard of the bloke? i think there was a film as well but i don't know if he was in it or not.

i can post some of them if you like, but i've got quite a few gaps. it's one of those sort of things everyone should get to hear before they die. like ivor cutler and doom.

[rooner in space]

[e-mail] (e) went:

yer mam was the invisible man? i bet that were rough.