The Shelf that Rearranged a Workshop - Long.

I made a cupboard for SWMBO's laundry the other day, and, true to form, she came to me a few days later and said " honey, that cupboard is great.....but....well....it needs another shelf...<bats eyes>"
Well, a shelf is easy right? Two cuts, four measurements, no problem. "Ok" I said and, with that, I was doomed.
Out to the shop, it's a nice breezy 70 deg, sun is shining - perfect day.
So I look for a piece of melamine to make the shelf out of, hmmm, all the 'off cuts' are a smidgeon too small - darn. So I look in the stack of panels and there is one melamine sheet 8' x 4'. Hmmm again, I haven't had a sheet this big on BUFF (Big Ugly Fat Feller - table saw) before, so I call SWMBO to give me a hand to get it up onto the sliding table, which she does.
As is my habit, I do a practice cut first and find the jointer is in the way, so I move the jointer (heavy 8" suckah, bad for the back) . Then, on the next practice cut, I find it hits the workbench as it nears the end of its travel. Now I get the tape out and measure the full 8' x 4' field I need forward of the blade and find a small table I have over the compressor also gets in the way. Then, I measure the field for a board oriented longitudinally and find it hits the far wall.
Still, the sun is shining and it's a great day.
I surveyed the shop and decided the only way this will work is to spin the table saw (TS) 180 deg and move it to abut the wall on the right hand side. This is done quite easily (relatively for a saw this *^%&$ heavy), however I notice that now the compressor needs a new home. I remove the wall mounted table and compressor from the shop, also the drill press (DP) as it was in the way.
SWMBO sticks her head out the door at this point and says "I thought you were doing my shelf?" I explain what is going on and she says "but it is only a simple little job, you don't need to go to all this trouble!". I think this is where the tic in the left eye started, but can't be sure.
I pick up the DP again as it was in the way, and part way through the carry I notice a spider (about an inch and a half, walking up my arm. As it nears the elbow I notice the red stripe - it's a Redback. Drawing on my memories of the Scot's favourite pastime, I perform a quite creditable caber toss with the DP (which thankfully lands on the lawn) and do the wild thing trying to get the little Red Feller off me without being bitten, thankfully I manage it and we each go our own ways.
I am now very alert, I figure about a nine latte alert level. SWMBO is laughing at me through the kitchen window, SWMBOette is with her. I am without dignity, still, it's not a bad day outside.
Back to the task at hand, the recalcitrant BUFF is now squatting off-level, so out come the spirit levels to get him back to level again. An hour goes by as I adjust the position of the TS to get it optimised for large sheets, then adjust the feet. I then notice the sliding table isn't right - it's moved somehow - "Oh no". This may be where the tic in the other eye started, but I can't be sure.
Still, there's some daylight left.
Two hours were spent getting the travel of the sliding table and swing arm back to how they should be. Another half hour fiddling with the dust collection hoses, which are now way too long. A few quick adjustments with some other lengths of hose and I'm back in business. Now to re-run the electrical cable and move the tools inside. It's getting dark and cold and I don't want moisture on the metal. Before I can move them, I have to move a stack of wood on the other side of the shop to get the compressor in. This is done fairly quickly though I make a hole in my skin with a long lost nail. Of course this is in my hand and blood is transferred to the 'good' timber before I notice it.
Timeout to cleanup the timber. Suddenly it is very chilly and I need to turn the lights on.
It's been a long day, every machine in the shop has moved. The woodpile is now three woodpiles. Somehow I have more space - lots more. I can feed a full 8' x 4' sheet any way I want to and not hit anything. The place is tidy, but - it's late.
Too late to use the saw so I can't make the shelf. I head inside defeated, bruised and bloody from the days attempt to work. SWMBO shakes her head, but knows me well enough after all these years to realise this is "quiet time". SWMBOette can't be seen anywhere - smart kid.
This morning I went out to the shop and made the two cuts over a total of eight minutes. Fitted the shelf within ten. SWMBO said "why didn't you just do that yesterday?" then runs and locks herself in the bathroom - laughing.
Still, it's another nice day....
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ROFLMAO !!!!!
This was so great I had to get the SWMBO in to read it. We both felt for you.
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Great story. No wonder you're groggy.
Groggy wrote:

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So... did you at least "penny" the bathroom door shut before going off to golf?
--
"De inimico non loquaris sed cogites."

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wrote:

[snip of major story]
Sounds pretty normal to me. It took me over an hour just to put up a hook so my son can hang his new guitar. Find drill, find drill *bits*. Find screw. Find screws that will fit. Drive to BORG for screws that will fit. Look for stud finder - rubbing wife on wall doesn't work. Look for screwdriver. Look for *right* screwdriver. Try to remember where I left hook when I got it home yesterday. Try to remember where I left screws that I *just* got home with. Try to remember where I put drill, bits, screwdriver and coffee. Watch TV. Find assorted tools and wonder what I was working on before the TV sucked me in. Son wonders what's taking so long. Thirty seconds for the actual installation. He's happy, but it takes me another half hour to put everything away again.
Tim Douglass
http://www.DouglassClan.com
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<snip of sorrowful tale>
Don'tcha just hate it when stuff like that happens?
Mid 1960's, SWMBO asked me to do a "simple job" in the house(right!) I'm making trips from garage to house, putting necessary tools/parts on kitchen table so I'll have everything ready to start. My last trip in with final required items, suddenly everything else I had gathered was no longer there. Sez me "Where are the blurfl and braggle?". Sez she "I'm cleaning house, they're back in the garage". %#$&*(%^)_(**)&%
Since that, I've learned to check if she is in "cleaning frenzy" mode FIRST. Trouble is, she raised our girls the same way. NOTHING is safe. During late 70's, had to go garbage diving about 3-4 times to recover paychecks that came in the mail. Thank God for direct deposit.
--
Nahmie
Those on the cutting edge bleed a lot.
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Hi Groggy,
LOL!!
Thanks! What a great story.
We can all identify in many ways. I liked the part where it hit the workbench. Happens to me once a month at least.
Lou

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On Sun, 02 Jan 2005 23:52:44 +0000, Groggy wrote:

Wow.
This what in the software industry we call "yak shaving". As in, you have one simple job to do, but can't do it without getting something else done first (upgrading a piece of software, or what have you), which in turn depends on some other thing, and four or five dependencies later you're outside shaving a yak (or, at the very least, doing something that appears completely unrelated to the original task).
--
-Chip Olson. | ceo2 at thsi dot org | remove the 2 to reply


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Chip Olson wrote:

Fundamental law of the universe:
Before you can do anything, you must first do something else.
(Entropy always increases.)
--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
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It's also the old house routine: you start to do A, find you have to do B, then C, then D, then back to B before you can finally finish A.
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Chip Olson writes:

So what else is new?
Sounds like a project description of almost every project on the planet.
That's why contingency funds exist.<G>
Lew
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wrote:

Next time, try "So I get out my trusty circular saw and rough cut that sucker down to size..."
'Course, the story wouldn't have been nearly as good. :)
Michael Baglio Who, in a 12X16 shopp-ette, _knows_ the value of a good circular saw...
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calmly ranted:

-Snip of a great story- Yeah, that happens to single guys in their shops, too. But I have Dina (tablesaurette) on wheels so she's easier to receive the outfeed table. Then again, the dust collector has to move, too, if I crosscut long sticks on 'er.

Did she ask what that noise was as you lagged her in with 3-1/2" deck screws through the bathroom door?

Glad to hear it. It was a glorious and sunny day here today but it hovered just above freezing all day long.
P.S: Is your redback like our Black Widow spider? Very painful but not deadly to most people, and she has a red hourglass on her tummy.
----------------------------------------------------------------- When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. --Steven Wright ---------------------------- http://diversify.com Comprehensive Website Development
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On Mon, 03 Jan 2005 16:55:57 -0800, Larry Jaques

I am not really sure how I managed it, but I have a lot more room and the saw is much easier to get to. The only thing i lost was easy access to the DC switch, I have to walk around BUFF to get to it now.

<Hmmm, thinks...>

Har, Har! (Oops, did I type that out loud?)

A very close relative, the Redback has caused deaths, but not recently due to anti-venom:
http://www.austmus.gov.au/factsheets/redback.htm
cheers,
Greg
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calmly ranted:

My DC switch is manipulated with a stick here, too. As I clean and make new cabinets, clamp racks, etc. I'm finding more room, too. This is a Good Thing(tm), fer sher.

<g>
I hope you're sweating up a storm right now with that upside down weather you have down yonder. <so there>

If the venom is similar, it feels like a lit cigarette is placed on (and remains on) your skin for about five minutes. I got some of the sweats but none of the nausea. I believe the welt got about nickel sized. First it was white with a red pinprick center, then about 8 hours later it reversed colors. Very strange. It itched for about a week but the swelling was gone in a couple days. I didn't see a doctor and probably wouldn't for a rattlesnake bite, either...unless I keeled over. Bites/venom are no fun, though, so I try to avoid them. The black widow got me from a tree outside. I was sitting on the lawn when the "cigarette" fell on me. I barely caught sight of her and wondered for awhile where she had come from. It had to be the tree, as I would have felt her climbing my arm had she done so. C'est la vie.
----------------------------------------------------------------- When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. --Steven Wright ---------------------------- http://diversify.com Comprehensive Website Development
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Larry Jaques wrote:

That's what thin little cutoffs are for, isn't it? Though my "DC" is just a shop vac. Better'n nothing, sort of.
--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan < snipped-for-privacy@users.sourceforge.net>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
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Groggy wrote:

Two words for you Groggy... Circular saw! :)
--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan < snipped-for-privacy@users.sourceforge.net>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
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wrote:

Grogster - dat made me laugh until I cried (or, mebbe it ta udder way 'round)
Good'n
tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email) http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1 (webpage)
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wrote:

One day Tom, just maybe, I'll tell the story of why it took 18 months to replace the deck by my back door. Now *that* was an epic.
Groggy
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