I made a cupboard for SWMBO's laundry the other day, and, true to
form, she came to me a few days later and said " honey, that cupboard
is great.....but....well....it needs another shelf...<bats eyes>"
Well, a shelf is easy right? Two cuts, four measurements, no problem.
"Ok" I said and, with that, I was doomed.
Out to the shop, it's a nice breezy 70 deg, sun is shining - perfect
So I look for a piece of melamine to make the shelf out of, hmmm, all
the 'off cuts' are a smidgeon too small - darn. So I look in the stack
of panels and there is one melamine sheet 8' x 4'. Hmmm again, I
haven't had a sheet this big on BUFF (Big Ugly Fat Feller - table saw)
before, so I call SWMBO to give me a hand to get it up onto the
sliding table, which she does.
As is my habit, I do a practice cut first and find the jointer is in
the way, so I move the jointer (heavy 8" suckah, bad for the back) .
Then, on the next practice cut, I find it hits the workbench as it
nears the end of its travel. Now I get the tape out and measure the
full 8' x 4' field I need forward of the blade and find a small table
I have over the compressor also gets in the way. Then, I measure the
field for a board oriented longitudinally and find it hits the far
Still, the sun is shining and it's a great day.
I surveyed the shop and decided the only way this will work is to spin
the table saw (TS) 180 deg and move it to abut the wall on the right
hand side. This is done quite easily (relatively for a saw this *^%&$
heavy), however I notice that now the compressor needs a new home. I
remove the wall mounted table and compressor from the shop, also the
drill press (DP) as it was in the way.
SWMBO sticks her head out the door at this point and says "I thought
you were doing my shelf?" I explain what is going on and she says "but
it is only a simple little job, you don't need to go to all this
trouble!". I think this is where the tic in the left eye started, but
can't be sure.
I pick up the DP again as it was in the way, and part way through the
carry I notice a spider (about an inch and a half, walking up my arm.
As it nears the elbow I notice the red stripe - it's a Redback.
Drawing on my memories of the Scot's favourite pastime, I perform a
quite creditable caber toss with the DP (which thankfully lands on the
lawn) and do the wild thing trying to get the little Red Feller off me
without being bitten, thankfully I manage it and we each go our own
I am now very alert, I figure about a nine latte alert level. SWMBO is
laughing at me through the kitchen window, SWMBOette is with her. I am
without dignity, still, it's not a bad day outside.
Back to the task at hand, the recalcitrant BUFF is now squatting
off-level, so out come the spirit levels to get him back to level
again. An hour goes by as I adjust the position of the TS to get it
optimised for large sheets, then adjust the feet. I then notice the
sliding table isn't right - it's moved somehow - "Oh no". This may be
where the tic in the other eye started, but I can't be sure.
Still, there's some daylight left.
Two hours were spent getting the travel of the sliding table and swing
arm back to how they should be. Another half hour fiddling with the
dust collection hoses, which are now way too long. A few quick
adjustments with some other lengths of hose and I'm back in business.
Now to re-run the electrical cable and move the tools inside. It's
getting dark and cold and I don't want moisture on the metal. Before I
can move them, I have to move a stack of wood on the other side of the
shop to get the compressor in. This is done fairly quickly though I
make a hole in my skin with a long lost nail. Of course this is in my
hand and blood is transferred to the 'good' timber before I notice it.
Timeout to cleanup the timber. Suddenly it is very chilly and I need
to turn the lights on.
It's been a long day, every machine in the shop has moved. The
woodpile is now three woodpiles. Somehow I have more space - lots
more. I can feed a full 8' x 4' sheet any way I want to and not hit
anything. The place is tidy, but - it's late.
Too late to use the saw so I can't make the shelf. I head inside
defeated, bruised and bloody from the days attempt to work. SWMBO
shakes her head, but knows me well enough after all these years to
realise this is "quiet time". SWMBOette can't be seen anywhere - smart
This morning I went out to the shop and made the two cuts over a total
of eight minutes. Fitted the shelf within ten. SWMBO said "why didn't
you just do that yesterday?" then runs and locks herself in the
bathroom - laughing.
Still, it's another nice day....