Sentient pearwood, anybody? (OT?)

SWMBO is going to Europe for 3 months, and I thought a Luggage might be just the thing. More space than a tardis, combined with bodyguard functions ... and will absolutely NOT get pilfered or get dope planted into during transit. Don't really fancy springing for all those Nikes though.
So where would YOU start looking for sentient pearwood? Oh, and plans might not hurt I suppose, I am not sure I have the multi-dimensional thing down pat. Any Ancient Craftsmen from the Counterweight Continent lurking in this group?
-P.
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Do you mean *sapient* pearwood, perchance?
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If it's sentient, he might have to buy it a ticket for the trip home. Either that, or go with an airline that allows animals.
Puckdropper
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I think what you're looking for would be a "Foldbox" - which, like a TARDIS is "Dimentionally Trancendental", i.e. Bigger on the inside than it is on the outside, but without the time & transport functions.
See Heinlein's "Glory Road" for further description.
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Kevin M. Vernon wrote:

Nahh, a Sapient Pearwood Luggage is a much more useful device in that among other things it eats your enemies and finds you no matter _how_ hard you try to lose it.
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