OT - A Compendium of Puntifications

A Compendium of Puntifications 1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. 4. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. 5. To write with a broken pencil is pointless. 6. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. 7. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. 8. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet concrete. He became a hardened criminal. 9. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. 10. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. 11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA. 12. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. 13. The dead batteries were given out free of charge. 14. If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory. 15. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. 16. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.) 17. I didn't know where the sun went at night, so I stayed up thinking about it until it dawned on me. 18. I knew she was bulimic so I tried not to talk about food, but she kept bringing it up!
A tough old cowboy counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103. When he died, he left 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren and a 15-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 3/8/08
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Swingman wrote:

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
M R Goodens!

Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o290/Robatoy/rflol_seal1.jpg
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
"Woodie" wrote:

By definition:
"Politics", the art of the possible.
The electorate, by and large, reaps what it sews, and deserves what it gets.
Lew
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Lew Hodgett wrote:

That is, defined by a politician, Otto Von Bismarck.

The electorate, by and large, reaps what it sews, and sews what it knows. Our press corps do a better job at exposing corruption in third world countries than at exposing corruption at home.
I for one, believe we deserve better. And yes, I do work towards that goal. I don't just sit around whining about it. I'm active politically, and believe that if more Americans knew just what went on behind close doors, more of them would be too.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
"Woodie" wrote

What type of thread and needles do they use?
Inquiring minds, and all that ... :)
--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 3/27/08
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Swingman wrote:

The needle is freedom, and the thread is democracy, my inquisitive friend... :)
I'm not sure what the velcro closures would be though...
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Swingman wrote:

Part of my family are farmers. To the best of my knowledge, they reap what they sow, but some of my aunts also sew, so there ...
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim Daneliuk snipped-for-privacy@tundraware.com
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

yaaaarn....
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
"Woodie" wrote:

Sounds like you should run for office.
Lew
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Lew Hodgett wrote:

Funny... Anyone who should be in there, probably doesn't want the job.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
"Frank Boettcher" wrote

Last time you looked in the mirror was there an "elderly" Anglo Saxon(+/-) male looking back 'atcha?
Don't bother waiting ... you don't qualify.
--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 3/27/08
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Only $500/couple? I gots a form letter from the IRS this very day advising me and my SYB that our $1200 check will be here by the 16th. WOO-HOOOOO!
Dave in Houston
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

. . . and that's just the folks that occupy prison cells.
Dave in Houston
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Related Threads

HomeOwnersHub.com is a website for homeowners and building and maintenance pros. It is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.