O/T: The Little Old Lady

Enjoy

Lew

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A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two large plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand.

Unfortunately, there is a rip in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her.

"Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag."

"Oh, really? Damn!" says the little old lady.

"I'd better go back and see if I can collect them.

Thanks for the warning."

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop.

"How did you get all that money?

You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh no," says the little old lady.

"You see, my back yard is right next to the parking lot of the football stadium.

Each time there is a game, a lot of the fans come and pee through the bushes, right into my flower beds!

So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes,

I say, '$20 or off it comes!' "

Well, that seems only fair," laughs the cop.

"Ok, good luck!

By the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well," says the little old lady, "not everybody pays."

Reply to
Lew Hodgett
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Funy stuff there, Lew.

Stars & Stripes blew a mast at 26 knots during the Mackinaw race. The winner did it in 14+ hours. That's just nuts...

Reply to
Robatoy

The winner did it in 14+ hours. That's just nuts...

When I was actively sailing on the Great Lakes, my idea of "racing" was down below for a cold one.

"Racing" and "5 MPH" are mutually exclusive terms in my book.

Reply to
Lew Hodgett

I've loved sailing my whole life but from the perspective of a cruising sailor. Watching yacht races is about as exciting as trying to determine when snot actually turns into crust.

Sail her flat. Don't overwork the BarBuoy gimbals.

Regards, Tom.

Thos. J. Watson - Cabinetmaker

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Reply to
Tom Watson

Precisley.

That works.

I'm always amused by the stink boats that are in such a hurry to get "there".

The minute I step on board, I am "there".

Reply to
Lew Hodgett

I see a lot of stink-boxes on shore this summer. And of the ones that are in the water, many don't leave the dock.

Sailboat 'racing' is about squeezing every knot out of even the lightest breeze, coaxing just that wee bit more than others. Flawless hull polishing, 'fast' hulls, lightweight pulleys and carefully choreographed crews.

A hull, a sheet, a strategy and God. And healthy competition and sportsmanship.

Reply to
Robatoy

I see a lot of stink-boxes on shore this summer. And of the ones that are in the water, many don't leave the dock.

That has always been SOP for them.

lightest breeze, coaxing just that wee bit more than others. Flawless hull polishing, 'fast' hulls, lightweight pulleys and carefully choreographed crews.

A hull, a sheet, a strategy and God. And healthy competition and sportsmanship.

When in the competitive world of day to day business, I'm a total type "A" freak.

The minute I step on board, I transform into a type "B".

When I'm sailing, it gives me a place to put the square pegs in the square holes, the round pegs in the round holes, and screw it, the rest go overboard.

Meet me on my businss turf, I'll kick your ass.

Meet me on my sailing turf, I'll offer you a beer.

I simply don't allow the two to mix.

Reply to
Lew Hodgett

I used to be, it almost killed me. Now I seem to have a nice day-to- day balance with the odd slide into that gnawing desire to being a freak about it. Every day, I force myself to do two or three things away from my business. A nice lunch, A walk in the park, work out a picking pattern on the gittar, stop in for a draught and tell tall tales with the regulars.

My predominant "B" side is at the house, read my news on-line, the local paper (you have to keep up with who's playing where)

I do that all day long. At work or at play, no time for bullshit.

LOL. I think you'd be pleasantly surprised how well I hold my own.

See above. I will offer you that beer for lunch. Next door to my office. Across the street at a very fine restaurant or hand me one while shooting the breeze as we watch a couple a Top Fuelers blow nitro and rubber dust at our faces at the Sunday Drags.

It's mix that keeps me sane.

r
Reply to
Robatoy

"Robatoy" wrote

It's mix that keeps me sane.

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You're sane???

Who woulda thunk that one??? :)

Reply to
Lee Michaels

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