How to infuriate your wife: Lesson 1

I've had my eye on a dust collector, jointer, and planer for quite some time, and all three went on sale recently. In the case of the planer there was also a rebate that expired until this past weekend. I was afraid if I didn't jump on these items they'd jack up the prices and I'd be out of luck. As it happened, all three were on significant backorders already. So I talked my wife into letting me order all three with the understanding that they wouldn't ship for quite a while (and hence we wouldn't be billed for quite a while), and that we could even cancel them if we decide we can't afford them.

Then yesterday I got word that the dust collector has already shipped. To top things off, today I got word that the planer will ship within the next week. Needless to say, my wife is not happy with me. My jointer order is hanging by a thread now. One misstep and she's going to pull the cord, though I'm assured by the distributor that they don't expect any until late March. Anyone care to offer some marital advice on how to handle this delicate situation?

Reply to
NoNameAtAll
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I, for one, need no lessons and/or assistance to infuriate my wife. I'm quite capable of doing that all by myself. I am so good at it that I now able to do so without intending to or even knowing that I have.

Enjoy your new toys!

DexAZ

Reply to
DexAZ

Yeah, go furniture shopping. When she finds something she likes say that you can build the same thing for less money and/or higher quality using your new toys. Might even push for another toy depending on how much she wants it.

Reply to
KS

You simply explain that you need these tool, and you don't care to hear her thoughts on the matter.

Oh, did you want to remain married? There is little chance of that unless you return the tools.

Reply to
Toller

Reply to
Grandpa

Works for me ... but I also (tenderly) point out that the cost of the joint counseling sessions that might result from her non-compliance will greatly exceed the cost of the tools.

;>)

Reply to
Swingman

Be extra nice. Do a lot more listening than talking.

Reply to
Phisherman

One word ---- Tongue!

dave

Reply to
ClemsonDave

Tell her that the price of the new Harley you were going to buy is significantly more than the pittance you're spending on these new, very necessary and not frivolous tools.

Then go to the jewelry store and "bling-bling" your troubles away. DAMHIKT

Reply to
Don Sforza

To NoName: Tell her you want this stuff no matter what. She's just a girl and WTF does she know about man tools.

To Wife of NoName: When you boot this bozo out of the house, drop me a line. I'll give you a hundred bucks cash for his stuff and I'll even pay the shipping.

:-) mahalo, jo4hn

Reply to
jo4hn

Buy it. Be King. Enjoy. Shop for new tools or new wife, your call.

Reply to
Mark Hopkins

Buy some Post It Notes. Two colors, red and green. Start labeling things as "Mine" (green) and "Your's" (red). Tell her it's just to make the legal proceedings go so much faster. Agreeing on disposition of property also reduces lawyer fees.

Reply to
mttt

|I've had my eye on a dust collector, jointer, and planer for quite some time, |and all three went on sale recently. In the case of the planer there was also a |rebate that expired until this past weekend. I was afraid if I didn't jump on |these items they'd jack up the prices and I'd be out of luck. As it happened, |all three were on significant backorders already. So I talked my wife into |letting me order all three with the understanding that they wouldn't ship for |quite a while (and hence we wouldn't be billed for quite a while), and that we |could even cancel them if we decide we can't afford them. | |Then yesterday I got word that the dust collector has already shipped. To top |things off, today I got word that the planer will ship within the next week. |Needless to say, my wife is not happy with me. My jointer order is hanging by a |thread now. One misstep and she's going to pull the cord, though I'm assured by |the distributor that they don't expect any until late March. Anyone care to |offer some marital advice on how to handle this delicate situation?

Tell her that you love her and you're sorry that things are coming in quicker than expected. Remind her that (I think this is the case) she "approved" the purchases, so the total expenditure shouldn't be an issue, only the timing.

Offer to cancel the jointer order if she *really* insists but let her know that you need it eventially and buying it later might be more expensive. If she insists that you cancel, so be it. Buy it later at higher cost. Beside there will be an improved model out next week anyway and you'll be glad you waited. And you can take this to the bank: divorces are expensive.

My bride's father was a finish carpenter/painter so she grew up around tools. In fact she says that she couldn't be married to someone who can't fix things so if I say I'm interested in a tool, she says, "You handle the money, if you think you can afford it, buy it."

(Is this a gloat?)

Reply to
Wes Stewart

Get the jointer, keep the tools - dump the wife.

hth,

Vic

Reply to
Vic Baron

Does she have a good looking sister? Or does she fool around? (just kidding!)

Vic

Reply to
Vic Baron

Hmm. I was just thinking that this might be a good time for Leslie to chime in with something /constructive/.

Reply to
Morris Dovey

NOt too sure about being a "gloat", but I'd go with "drive-by".

And yes, my wife is very much the same way except that she'll figure out how to pay for something.

Mike

Reply to
The Davenports

If it is then so is this: My wife tells me to go buy tools even if I haven't expressed a personal interest in buying them... She must have mentioned that I need a lathe about ten times in the past month and I only upgraded to the Jet cabinet saw in early January!

I think this latest push is because when I come home from the woodworking club meetings I tell her about the latest wonders that guys in the club showed that night. To give you an idea of the caliber of the work one of the guys had a segmented turning in FWW last year and will be on HGTV this spring (I think it will be on Modern Masters???). Last night a guy in his late 80s gave a guest presentation of some of the most amazing work any of us had ever seen. He has won awards for his clocks, e.g., "most complicated movement" and has some on display in museums. He also made myriad other very complicated and extremely well executed items that involved turnings.

So now my wife figures I need a lathe. I think she mistakes my admiration of the work of other's for a ploy on my part to get new tools. ;-)

John

Reply to
John Grossbohlin

Chocolates, roses lots of apologies and the offer to return the jointer. If she has a hobby ( my wife's is sewing) try a counter bribe if you bank account will stand it. Oh yeah lots of smiles and doing of her share of the chores (however you usually devide the house work)

Reply to
Joseph Lappin

ROTFLMAO!!!

I can't top that one. Besides... A dust collector, a planer AND a jointer in one shot? No wonder she's pissed. Sounds to me like the OP got greedy.

Besides, don't let those good deal limited time only prices lure you into a buying frenzy if you can't afford it. $100 saved on a blurfl isn't really $100 saved if you pay interest on the damn credit card.

Reply to
Silvan

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