Learn to spell "upholstery", it's not hard ;-)
Has the OP tried the various things that have been suggested? Did any of them work? And the crucial question: did he manage to clean off the stain before SWMBO noticed it?
In the interests of science I've just experimented with a tube of PC Processor heatsink compound and my fabric covered 'office' chair. My florist wife swears by a preparation called "Mess Master", which appears to be alcohol based, and it did a pretty good job of cleaning this gunk off. Adopt a "dumb bloke" approach at the florist (especially if you buy HI flowers too!) and explain your crisis, they'll probably 'give' you a part used can. It wholesales at about £2.00 for a 400mil can.
Keith
Well that's above and beyond the call of duty, I hope you get a MBE in the next honours list :-)
"Jeff Gaines" wrote | > ... I've just experimented with a tube of PC Processor | > heatsink compound and my fabric covered 'office' chair. | Well that's above and beyond the call of duty, I hope you | get a MBE in the next honours list :-)
or a new chair in the next office furniture raffle
Owain
Well, he tried turps (is that the same as white spirit?) and meths, neither of which had any effect at all. Thinking of resorting to a camouflaging it with a marker pen of vaguely matching colour to the fabric, as a last ditch attempt.
For some reason, SWMBO hasn't clocked it yet. Have been racking my brains, but still haven't worked out how I can blame it on the dog yet.
Thanks for all the advice David
Thinking laterally... It's a grubby white stain. Think of those white dog poos that you sometimes see on the pavement. Could that be the "explanation" for SWMBO? '-)
Hmm, a perfect 1" square turd? Well, with the weird and wonderful stuff our spaniel eats, maybe she'd buy it...
Actually, I thought white dog turds were a Thing Of The Past - it's always one of those things that gets mentioned on TV or radio when someone starts off one of those, "Eee, whatever happened to...." Wasn't it a food additive or something?
You should have seen our garden last year after said spaniel had quaffed a box of the kids' day-glo wax crayons. Bright pink poos, fluorescent faeces and hi-vis turds all over the lawn. Very decorative.
David
Tip a small drop of perfume on it and point the finger at A.N Other.
That's true: I've not seen a white dog turd for years (he says nostalgically!!). I presume it's caused by a lack of bile which could be a dietary deficiency.
LOL. I'm surprised the idea hasn't appeared in the Tate Modern as "installation art"!
Have you tried working some washing up liquid into it with a toothbrush then repeatedly rinsing with a sponge, dabbing with a dry cloth and scrubbing some more?
Probably worth taking the cover off and turning it inside out so that if the bristles of the toothbrush tease out the fibres of the cloth, this happens on the "wrong" side.
If all else fails, get the dog to pee on it: 1) you can blame the dog for the stain; 2) the pee might bleach out the stain!
I always assumed it was what happemned when rain weashed the shit out of the turd, leaving only the bone fragments behiund.
People don't give dogs bones much these days.
I think it has actually, but it was called 'Tracey Emins bedroom' or something..:-)
>
Its not a stain though. Its just white powder. I am certain it waill wash out with a mild solvent.
Several reasons spring to mind:
1) Dog owners don't feed their dogs bones anymore, so the calcium level of the average turd is now almost nil. 2) Dog owners follow their dogs around with a pocket full of plastic bags and pick up their animals turds. 3) Street cleaning is now more frequent than it used to be.Richard snipped-for-privacy@epbyr.bet (ROT13 to e-mail me directly). See
"Tony Williams" wrote | Lobster wrote: | > For some reason, SWMBO hasn't clocked it yet. Have | > been racking my brains, but still haven't worked out | > how I can blame it on the dog yet. | Tip a small drop of perfume on it and point the | finger at A.N Other.
Look, he's in enough trouble when she finds out about the damaged furniture. If she suspects he's having an affair as well...
I think the best thing is to make a similar stain on SWMBO's trousers, then tell her she's sat in something in the bus/train/office and has brought it home and transferred it to the furniture.
Owain
In message , Richard Cole writes
I think we can rule out that one.
Yes, when in a hole, stop digging!
Now that is a veritable masterplan. A mere mortal would make it look as if
*he* had sat in something. It takes a genius to make it look as if his SWMBO has sat in something, thereby absolving himself of all responsibility, both his original carelessness and the fake accident ;-)
Perhaps I should confess that the chair has battle scars from serving variously as a saw-horse, drill stand and paint roller-tray stand, and the experiment actually increased the intrinsic value of the chair to that of a tube of heat sink compound. Besides, when 'er indoors says "I bet Mess-Master would get that out" one is duty bound to accept the challenge :-)
Keith
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