Last week, when I was digging in my garden, I found
a Balrog who quickly attacked me and my house.
The Balrog destroyed 50% of my property, before
I was able to stop him with a spell from my
Necronomicon Ex Mortis.
How can I repair my house now???
Now that school is over I see your mommy lets you play on her computer. Fun
isn't it. Will you be going into the fifth grade next year? You'll be old
enough to masturbate and won't want to play on the computer as much because
you'll be spending your waking hours wanking.
We need more info...
If it's a tree house, hire some elves.
If it's a cave, hire some dwarves.
If you still have your Necronomicon, conjure up Cthulu. After he destroys
the whole town, the feds will come in and rebuild it for you.
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