10 years ago I planted a Pecan tree about 8 feet from the house. New
home owner OK! Well the tree is 30-40 feet high now and hanging over
the house. To make matters worse the shower/bathroom is the closest
thing to the tree. I know roots will eventually find the drains, if
it hasn't already done so.
Now my problem. My wife will not let me kill it. She gets upset when
I replace the annuals. She almost wants to have a funeral and for a
while I'm a killer.
How do I kill the Pecan tree so it looks like it died a natural death?
I have the air conditioner guy around the corner come over in uniform
with a clipboard and pretend he is a arborist. I'll get that done.
Friends tell me I can nail a copper nail in the trunk and it will die.
True or False. Any better ideas.
Perhaps, as an alternative to looking at it as, "killing", the OP could
look at it as "replacing" the tree. Find a suitable alternative species for
the location, and put it in as soon as the old stump is removed.
Besides, that devious shit ain't gonna work. He's gonna get caught (we
/always/ effin' get caught, don't we?), and his ol' lady's gonna turn the
a/c dood in for impersonating an arborist. ;)
Copper will kill the tree. As an alternative, pour copper sulfate, the
stuff to keep drains clear of roots, around the tree.
Or, you could do the right thing. Tell the ol lady to grow up and to
shut the f*ck up and just cut it down. A Pecan tree that size would be
worth a lot of money to a cabinet maker. Maybe buying the ol lady a gift
from the proceeds will shut her up.
explain to the wife how Murphy's Law will most likely ensure how
the tree will fall on the house while she is in the "shower/bathroom"
doing sufficient damage to the house whereby requiring the assistance
of the local rescue rangers in order to safely extract her from the
"shower/bathroom". they'll see her girl parts the photographer for
the local newspaper will get pictures and the whole town will enjoy
a good laugh at her expense. later when it is determined how the
entire incident was the result of your having planted the tree to
close to the house they will laugh at you too, but I'd not play this
part up. I'd make it all about her humiliating 'hour' requiring the
rescue from the shower due to the fallen tree.
if you pull this off correctly she'll hire a bonded and insured tree
removal service and you'll just stand around trying not to grin to much.
with any negotiation, it really is all about proper presentation.
Sounds like the problem is not the tree, its your wife. You have to do the
hard decision stuff. Either way, its you fault. True for most marriages.
House (slab?) foundation in proximity of the tree may be at risk in the
future if left alone.
HomeOwnersHub.com is a website for homeowners and building and maintenance pros. It is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here.
All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.