What is it with this place?

There is one of those in Dayton that I go to every time I go back to visit my parents.

They sell everything under the sun.

Reply to
Jay R
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I have at least 6 basin wrenches, at least 10 caulking guns, NO idea how many crescent wrenches, and...somewhere, between this shop and my house..about 500 pencils.... although I can't see one from where I'm sitting.

Reply to
Robatoy

Those kind of guys make the best friends.

Reply to
Robatoy

I forget the author, but a few years back there was a major complaint about being able to find a pencil while in the shop.

The author solved his problem by buying a whole box of #2 pencils and standing in his shop door and just started throwing the pencils in a 180 degree arc as far as he could.

Of course, two days latter, he couldn't find a pencil.

Reply to
Pat Barber

On Thu, 18 Dec 2008 20:20:14 +0000, RM MS wrote (in article ):

Usually, an Old One must be invoked into appearance by reading certain shunned passages of the forbidden Necronomicon by the guttering. baleful light of a candle made from the fat of an executed highwayman within a circle, exactly nine feet in diameter. drawn with a crayon made from the unspilled blood of a virgin bound with grave dirt and some sticky white stuff stolen from a stud farm by a tongueless Arab.

Can't measure the circle. Can't find the tape measure.

The damned book was in the shoe box with all the other instruction manuals - router, washing machine, satellite TV remote, breadmaker... Frankenstein's anatomy course.. the winemaking kit...

Can I find the accursed tome? NOBODY has seen it, touched it, moved, borrowed, read or returned it to the public library. The same nobody that polished off my last half of good single malt that I was saving, along with the tin of Devon custard that was on the shelf two days ago but nobody has used so I had to eat my avocado crumble dry.

So - no instructions..

Maybe I can just make it up as i go along.. don't see any problem with that. O.K. who's got the matches? They were on here a minute ago. Next to the crayon..

I'll use a biro until the crayon turns up..

I'll light the candle with my trusty zippo.. which is in the top drawer in the garage workbench.. Soddit, I'll use the electric fire and a folded length of paper.

Sorry, I had to go and get the blister ointment. and a bucket of water.... good job the carpet was rolled back.

The candle's burning nicely.. well, _balefully_. Now how does that thing go?

"La! Cthulhu Baroda Nikto!!.." umm... "Fh'tagn Yuupee'Ess deliverit! Ad Hominem!!"

Draw the circle on the floor..

"Nachos nauseus cheesibit. Cadcam renderit! T'chock bah flavorit G'na'ppfoobar snork!

That's about nine feet..

I think I've got it now

"Pingu mglw'nafh Cthulhu O'Reilly waggonhog fhnart"

Ahh _there's_ the book.. damn, it's outside the circle and I'm inside it.. I'm sure it won't hurt to sneak out and get it..

That's better.. Oh.. that's what I should have said.. never mind. It sort of sounds a bit similar.. sort of..

The candle's dimming.. it's

.. going out..

and it's dark the room smells of sulfur.. the floor seems to be leaning at a crazy angle.. it doesn't feel like a floor.. it's a wall, and I'm leaning on it.. no, it's a floor.. it's tosssing about like a raftin a storm..

I can hear them.. the scratching in the walls..

the distant, far-away howling.. getting closer..

The door is rattling.. I can hear the wood creaking

the hinges are straining..

..the wood's beginning to splinter...they're coming..

No.. No...

Reply to
Bored Borg

Utter the mantra: "There is no Cabal" over and again. The Cabal will protect you. nobody

Reply to
jo4hn

Hopefully you got sidetracked on something really good

Mike M

Reply to
Mike M

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