Well it seems it finally happened - the Plywood Lawn Deer
appears to have been hunted to extinction. Not too long
ago they were plentiful. A walk through the neighborhood,
a drive to the store, even on a trip to the airport, you'd
see at least one, often half a dozen or more. And their
numbers seemed to increase dramatically around this
time of year - the migration season I guess. Around
Halloweeen, most of the woodworking magazines would
have an article on them. A buzz about Plywood Lawn
Deer would start here and threads would go on for
weeks at a time. But this year . . .
Maybe they weren't hunted to extinction - but displaced
by the Wire Framed Tiny Lights Lawn Deer - a more
technologicly advanced species with which the Plywood
Lawn Deer could not compete.
Their passing may be Mother Nature's way of warning
us. Pukey Ducks and Cat Push Sticks may be endangered
species at this moment. No one really knows how many
are out there so we don't know if there's still a sustainable
population or not. There's almost no data on their
habitat requirements, food needs or their reproduction
rates. Hell, I can't find anything on their life span.
If you actually see a Plywood Lawn Deer, please post
the siting, date, time of day, weather conditions,
location (part of what state - ie. central Iowa, northern
South Carolina, southern North Carolina etc.), size
(in inches, feet or "hands"), number of "points" if any
and probable gender.
Maybe it's not too late for the Plywood Lawn Deer.
Time to mobilize, organize, start a lobbying group,
collect donations, take out full page ads in local
papers, start a speakers list and send it to all the
other organizations - Kiwanis, Elks, VFW - and
CHURCHES. Save one of God's creations from
extinction. On second thought, forget churches,
extinction would conflict with Intelligent Design.
What god would create something that couldn''t
fit in? Way too close to the E-word (Evolution).
Aw screw 'em. They were tough and splintery,
even the fat healthy ones.
We need a slogan - something people will remember.
Save The Whale worked fairly well.