OT: Talk like a pirate on Monday;

[Dave Balderstone]

Why not..

[Larry Jaques]

On Sun, 18 Sep 2005 21:45:20 -0600, with neither quill nor qualm, Dave Balderstone quickly quoth:

Aye, be gar, matey.

- Metaphors Be With You -

Web Application Programming

[Robert Bonomi]

In Pittsburgh, that's "Wait till next year!", right?

[jo4hn]

So. It's Mister 'arkins, is it?

mahalo, jo4hn (who likes Treasure Island)

[LRod]

But I don't want to be a pirate.

[Robatoy]

First Mate Spunk: [ peering through telescope ] Land ahoy! Land ahoy! Oh, my God, I don't know.. oh, it might be land, maybe it's another boat.. Oh, daft, it might be a cloud! No, I can't tell, this damn thing is torturing me. Oh, maybe it's a cloud, I'm not sure, oh dear!

Captain Ned: [ walking up ] Mr. Spunk! Have you spied land?

First Mate Spunk: I'm not sure! Somebody else get up here and look! If I say it's land, and we make for it and it's not, I'll get yelled for it!

Captain Ned: Alright! [ peers through telescope ]

Miles Cowperthwaite (Voice/Over): "What Mr. Spunk had sighted was not land at all, but a small, open boat. Which, upon closer inspection, was found to contain two remarkable passengers."

[ two women climb onboard The Raging Queen ]

Captain Ned: [ greeting them ] I am Captain Ned, of The Raging Queen! Tell me.. are there any males with you?

Madeline Warrington: No. Just my sister and I.

Ruth Warrington: Yes. My name is Ruth Warrington. This is my sister Madeline. We were crossing the West Indies, when pirates seized our ship. They took our entire crew prisoners.

Captain Ned: [ thinking ] Hmm.. Uh.. can you tell me, were these pirates manly and verile?

Madeline Warrington: They were contemptible animals, who subjected our ship's crew to the most unspeakable torture!

First Mate Spunk: Do you suppose these pirates might still be anywhere in the area.

Ruth Warrington: Yes. I'm afraid they may yet be very close..

Captain Ned: I see. [ runs to address his crew ] Men! There are pirates in these waters! Pirates who inflict hideous punishment to those who fall into their hands! [ crew oohs ] Now, we can turn tail and run. Or, we can take the manly course, that which our manhood demands! Find these despots of discipline, and comfort them! What is your answer!!

Crew: Find the pirates!!

Captain Ned: So it will be done! Stand by to incur the waters!

[ crew wave out to see, in search of the pirates ]

[Dave Hinz]

(snip)

For the record, you're making a little less sense today than you normally do.

[Mortimer Schnerd, RN]

You must not have watched SNL in the 70s.

[Dave Hinz]

Oh, sure I did, but I was trying to make a joke in that, when completely nonsensical, Robatoy is only slightly less, aw, nevermind. Explaination kills the joke...