OT: Simple English

Robatoy · 2010-01-15T16:20:07+00:00

As you may have noticed, I decided to play hookie from the shop today.=========Subject: Simple EnglishThe European Commission has just announced an agreement wherebyEnglish will be the official language of the European Union ratherthan German, which was the other possibility. As part of thenegotiations, the British Government conceded that English spellinghad some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in planthat would become known as 'Euro-English'.In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this willmake the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped infavour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan haveone less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekondyear when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This willmake words like fotograf 20% shorter.In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expektedto reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which havealways ben a deterent to akurate speling.Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languagis disgrasful and it should go away.By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th'with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vordskontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensiblriten styl.Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tuunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted inze forst plas.

Jan 15, 2010 28 Replies

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Doug Miller 16 years ago

Oh, yes. Most of the English words for the basics of everyday life are unmistakeably Germanic:

Bier, Wein, Milch, Wasser, Brot, Butter, Mett = beer, wine, milk, water, bread, butter, meat

Vater, Mutter, Bruder, Schwester = father, mother, brother, sister

Haus, Tafel, Stuhl = house, table, chair (stool)

Hand, Finger = (obvious)

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Robatoy 16 years ago

Meat =3D Fleisch

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PDQ 16 years ago

In news:hiqr1h$kkb$ snipped-for-privacy@news.eternal-september.org, Doug Miller dropped this bit of wisdom:

What I do not comprehend is those among us who consistently=20

fail to appreciate the thought implied=20 attempt to further elucidate upon the actual etymology=20 fail miserably at any semblance of bonhomie.

Is it not nice to know trhat we have a lot for which to thank the Jutes, = Angles, and Saxons for our verbiage? That is not to cast any aspersions = upon those who utilized Sanskirt in their daily communications.

Mendatum caco.

P D Q

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Robatoy 16 years ago

Angles, and Saxons for our verbiage? =A0That is not to cast any aspersions = upon those who utilized Sanskirt in their daily communications.

Whao!, Q! I never knew!

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krw 16 years ago

Wow, I'm impressed at your childishness. You and Robby are quite the couple.

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krw 16 years ago

Innews: snipped-for-privacy@m26g2000yqb.googlegroups.com,

A childish moron, for sure, but we have no idea how wide your stripe is.

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Buddy Matlosz 16 years ago

I thought so too, that's why I passed it along. A friend of mine in Winnipeg sent it to me, and he got it from a hooker in Havana...so I don't know who to give credit to.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hopefully that's all he got from the hooker in Havana.

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Han 16 years ago

Robatoy wrote in news:5f278c5a-939c-47de-a0c0- snipped-for-privacy@k17g2000yqh.googlegroups.com:

As a born Dutchman, I can fully understand.

In my 60+ years, Dutch has undergone at least 3 fully sanctioned changes in official spelling. At the introduction of the last one (or the one before that), the chair of the committee was explaining the rules and flaunted them by giving an example. Since I have been living in the US since 1969, I can't remember whether the change was from pannekoek to pannenkoek, or vice versa, since I now call it pancake.

Bisquick makes great "flensjes", say my grandkids.

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