My mother finally sent me a joke that is actually funny.
Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to
open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next
to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red
rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins,
cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the
bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the mirror:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping- Love
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast
and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table. Jack asks,
"Son...what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You
broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when
you ran into the door."
"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I
have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when
she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady!
Broken furniture - $855.26
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud -$3.00
Two Aspirins -$0.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless.
A rolling stone gathers no moss...unless it's a hobby he does on the