OT: or not; Favorite Misspellings

A more recent variation on the same theme (not my own):

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

You can thank texting, ebonics, and accepting every one as equally deserving. Give some one a reward for something that they did not earn and they naturally don't try as hard.

It all started going downhill with that Webster guy and his so-called "American Spelling" book: forgetting the "u" in colour and honour; misspelling the theatre and centre; "plow" for plough; abominations such as "soop", "mashine" and "tung" instead of soup, machine and tongue, which luckily did not fly even in the US; which led to other abominations such as "thru" for through and "vise" for vice (OBWW).

Luigi

And on punctuation :-).

Did they, in fact, *have* a proofreading department. Most don't. They have computer programs that check spelling and sometimes grammar, but no proofreaders. Sadly, it's an obsolete profession.

What do you mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (arrrrgh!)

-- The human brain is unique in that it is the only container of which it can be said that the more you put into it, the more it will hold. -- Glenn Doman

Q. Why do little ducks walk softly? A. Because they can't walk, hardly!

Created by the named author based I have a spelling checker It came with my pea sea It plane lee marks four my revue Miss steaks aye can knot sea. Eye ran this poem threw it, Your sure reel glad two no. Its vary polished in it's weigh My checker tolled me sew. A checker is a bless sing, It freeze yew lodes of thyme. It helps me right awl stiles two reed, And aides me when aye rime. Each frays come posed up on my screen Eye trussed too bee a joule The checker pour o'er every word To cheque sum spelling rule. Be fore a veiling checkers Hour spelling mite decline, And if were lacks or have a laps, We wood be maid to wine. Butt now bee cause my spelling Is checked with such grate flare, Their are know faults with in my cite, Of non eye am a wear. Now spelling does knot phase me, It does knot bring a tier. My pay purrs awl due glad den With wrapped words fare as hear. To rite with care is quite a feet Of witch won should be proud. And wee mussed dew the best wee can, Sew flaws are knot aloud. Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays Such soft ware four pea seas. And why I brake in two averse By righting want too pleas. -- Jerry Zar, Dean of the Graduate School Northwestern Illinois University

Abalone!! You did it on porpoise, and manta every word. Truth be known, you thought you were the sole of wit, but it was just a crappie attempt. :)

The original was written by Jerry Yar, Dean of the Graduate School at Northwestern Illinois University, to accompany a article about the decline of writing quality as seen in Graduate School admissions essays.

In it's original glory: I have a spelling checker It came with my pea sea It plane lee marks four my revue Miss steaks aye can knot sea. Eye ran this poem threw it, Your sure reel glad two no. Its vary polished in it's weigh, My checker tolled me sew. A checker is a bless sing, It freeze yew lodes of thyme. It helps me right awl stiles two reed, And aides me when aye rime. Each frays come posed up on my screen Eye trussed too bee a joule The checker pour o'er every word To cheque sum spelling rule. Be fore a veiling checkers Hour spelling mite decline, And if were lacks or have a laps, We wood be maid to wine. Butt now bee cause my spelling Is checked with such grate flare, Their are know faults with in my cite, Of non eye am a wear. Now spelling does knot phase me, It does knot bring a tier. My pay purrs awl due glad den With wrapped words fare as hear. To rite with care is quite a feet Of witch won should be proud. And wee mussed dew the best wee can, Sew flaws are knot aloud. Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays Such soft ware four pea seas. And why I brake in two averse By righting want too pleas. -- Jerry Zar, Dean of the Graduate School Northwestern Illinois University

Historical fact: the electricaal item -- a heavy-duty conductor with multiple secondary items attached to it was traditionally spelled with 2 esses. That usage _is_ where the company derives it's name from.

"Modern' usage has corrupted the spelling to using only a single 's'.

Speaking of "radio alarm saws", how would one fit a saw-stop mechanism to -that-?

snipped-for-privacy@host122.r-bonomi.com (Robert Bonomi) wrote in news:mvidnfF8DbEo9bvSnZ2dnUVZ snipped-for-privacy@posted.nuvoxcommunications:

Probably the same way as the SawStop. The blade wouldn't disappear into the table, but jamming a piece of metal into the blade would work fine. With all the stress from the action, however, means the arm would have to have either some way of absorbing the stress or be strong enough to not move.

(Would this count as prior art to invalidate such a patent? *grin*)

Puckdropper

Blame the less that "kind'a good" spell checker.

Take electrical and electricaal for instance. ;~)

I thought tung was a finishing oil and tongue was something that sticks out.

And when computers first came out the double ss applied to them as well. In fact, "bus" still looks funny to me.