O/T: Thoughts For The Season

Dec 24, 2009 1 Replies
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Enjoy the holiday season your way Lew =================================



-Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.


-Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any.


-Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.


-If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of?


-No guts, no glory, no brain, same story.


-Cocaine is Gods way of telling you that you make too much money.


-If quiters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool who said "Quit while you're ahead"?


-If you don't die from it -- it is healthy.


-If everything is going well, you don't know what the hell is Going on.


-One good turn gets most of the blankets.


-It is better to be looked over than overlooked.


-There are three kinds of people -- those who can count and those who can't.


-It is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents, it is how he found out.


-My homework is like a juicy steak -- rarely done.


-There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.


-Life is sexually transmitted.


-Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.


-An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.


-If at first you don't succeed -- give up! No use being a damn fool.


-Falling in love is awfully simple. Falling out of love is simply awful.


-No job is so simple that is can't be done wrong.


-You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.


-Only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles.


Get a bigger hammer (or unbreakable toy).

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