I wanted to be a mathematician but couldn't integrate.
OKOK, its weak, but I like it anyway (my g/f is a mathie). Have you heard the joke about e^x at the party...
PK
A
Australopithecus scobis
Ask her "what's purple and commutes?"
T
Tim and Steph
While we're on that subject:
Three squaws were each preparing for the birth of their first child. The first placed a large bear hide by the river, the second squaw placed an elk hide by the tree by the river, and the third squaw placed a hippopotamus hide by a path, near the river and the tree, so that the three formed a triangle.
It just so happened that all three women gave birth on the same day. The first squaw on the bear hide had a 5lb son, the second on the elk hide had a 6lb son, and the third squaw on the hippopotamus hide had an
11lb son.
To this day, mathematicians credit these three women with the first proof of Pythagorus's Theory :
The son of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the adjacent hides.
R
Robert Allison
I wanted to be a comedian, but everyone just laughed at me.
P
phildcrowNOSPAM
Oh my freakin' god, that's terrible.
ROFLMAO
-Phil Crow
P
Paul Kierstead
Oh man, I love it.
So, there was this big math party. All the important functions where there; sin, cos, Pythagoras, everyone. e^x showed up to the party but was observed staying alone in the corner quietly. Some of the equations felt rather bad and went over to e^x and said to it: "Come on, have fun and join the party! You will never have fun if you don't integrate!". e^x replied: "Why bother, it doesn't make any difference".
ROFLMAO!!!
PK
P
Paul Kierstead
I think she has just finished too many mid-terms; she doesn't get it. Ok, give!
PK
A
Australopithecus scobis
An Abelian grape.
L
Larry Jaques
On Tue, 22 Mar 2005 23:28:11 -0600, the inscrutable Australopithecus scobis spake:
I don't get it. Give!
======================================================== Was that an African +
formatting link
or European Swallow? + Gourmet Web Applications ========================================================
D
Dave Balderstone
" A group or other algebraic object is said to be Abelian if the law of commutativity always holds."
;-)
J
jo4hn
And while we're at it, don't forget that all involutory collineations are harmonic homologies. Sheeeesh. j4
M
mac davis
or about the constipated accountant that worked it out with a pencil?
mac
Please remove splinters before emailing
J
Juergen Hannappel
[...]
The one about the e^x bragging to the differential operator that it can't be harmed just to hear: "Pity. I'm d/dy..."?
M
mac davis
I wanted to be a teacher but didn't make the grade...
I was going to be a butcher but didn't make the cut..
I was going to be a mule skinner, but couldn't find my ass?
mac
Please remove splinters before emailing
A
Australopithecus scobis
You're not a mathemetician, so it won't be funny. Trust me on this.
One of the properties of an Abelian group is that it is commutative. (Addition is commutative; 4 + 3 = 3 + 4.) Groups are apparently very interesting to maths types. I never took those courses, though.
What's purple and wants to rule the world? Alexander the grape. You get the picture...
A
Australopithecus scobis
or the constipated engineer who worked it out with a slide rule?
D
Dave Balderstone
Purple in the ocean? Moby Grape.
R
Robatoy
That's .. what's pink and floats in the ocean..
Moby's dick.
... I don't write them...
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