What happened to teenagers?

[ARW]

Long gone are the days when the apprentices would turn up for work on a Monday morning with hangovers, VD, black eyes, having spent a night in the cells, woken up next to a fat bird etc

These days they turn up in the morning with a cappuccino made with mummy's special milk and a bottle of mineral water for later.

I have one apprentice with potential. I got him some false ID so that he can get into pubs and nightclubs.

With a bit of luck he will turn up on Monday morning unable to do anything and I will then give him the "bacon sandwich fixes everything" lesson, tell him not to speed until midday in case the cops stop him and then show him how to wire a fire alarm.

[Archibald Tarquin Blenkinsopp]

Glad to hear he has potential.

I would have thought that potential was a none negotiable entry requirement for electrical apprentices.

If he drives he must be 17, if he does not want to con publicans into believing he is older, then he may be a little too honest to be let loose around clients.

Assuming he isn't so honest of course, then relying on your good self for false ID is probably reasonable grounds for dismissal. Anyone aspiring to do anything technical should be able to churn out duff documents while still in primary school.

Before you sack him, find out what he drinks. If it's keg beer or lager, then dump the loser. A real ale fanatic though should be provided with every opportunity to hone his skills at deception without the need for dodgy doccy's or fibs.

AB

[Bob Eager]

Well, it's the current requirement, anyway. Even if some apprentices resist it.

[Archibald Tarquin Blenkinsopp]

In my day I would have been sent Ohm for coming out with that.

Before I knew Watt was Watt, I would have been on my megacycle.

Such was life in 'Ampshire :-(

AB

[Bob Eager]

Stop Mhoning.

[ARW]

He passed his driving test on his first attempt.

I have already taught him how to change gear without using the clutch.

[tabbypurr]

The current setup is different. Now apprentices need the capacity to pass the induction.

Best not use the cycle to go ammeter, if you fall off it hertz. Just use it to go ohm.

Wire we spelling things this way?

NT

[ARW]

Not bad. Needs a visit to the Kosovan car wash.

[Archibald Tarquin Blenkinsopp]

Better get it washed fast.

Australian and New Zealand PHD's are going to want a few bob more.

AB

[ARW]

A fiver if you tell them not to dry it off with a chamois leather that looks like it it has been dragged down the M1 to Watford and then used to wipe a cows arse before drying the van.

A tenner if they do dry it off with above mentioned chamois.

[spuorgelgoog]

I suppose it's too difficult for the apprentice to wash the van without spilling their cappucino?

Owain

[dennis]

Won't be long before the UK unis offer a two year quick course in car wash management.

[spuorgelgoog]

Owain

[Cursitor Doom]

Sounds like you'd make an excellent surrogate parent. I have fond memories of turning up still drunk from the night before for work and spewing my guts up in the firm's car park before going in and passing out at my desk. I'll bet virtually no youngsters do that any more. God help us the way this country is going.

[bert]

In article [e-mail], Archibald Tarquin Blenkinsopp [e-mail] writes

Revolting place

[bert]

Just a phase we are going through.

[Vir Campestris]

We had one happy Christmas where our son of 17 was able to drive us to the office party, and couldn't get drunk himself. Since he was using mum's car we felt he owed us one.

Andy

[Tim Watts]

Cool. My old man taught me that too.

[Steve Walker]

I soon learned that when my clutch cable went coming off the motorway on the way to a friend's house and I had to negotiate another 4 miles, punctuated by roundabouts, traffic lights and sharp turns into side-streets! I parked with two wheels on the kerb (to give enough height to get under without axle stands), announced that I was staying the night and bought and fitted a cable in the morning.

SteveW

[Bob Eager]

I taught myself to do it first on a motorbike (easier).

Then on a car. I once had the clutch mechanism fail in Halstead (Essex) and drove all the way back to East Kent without having to stop (chucked the money at the bloke in the toll booth).