OpenWRT is an open source firmware that runs on a wide range of consumer routers, including many Arm-based ones as you mention, as well as x86. So it may offer you the best of both worlds: low power, compact hardware designed for routing (with good wifi etc), but hands on software. It supports Wireguard and Docker, among many other packages.
Theo
I ran a Draytek router for ten years, with the occasional power cycle (usually long power cuts) and never had to reboot it. It had a few other bugs right at the start, but Draytek fixed them promptly.
Yes I hardly ever have to reboot my tp-link router. I did the other day, the first time in over a year, if not two.
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