The unwanted television

I have a little Sony, it?s a Trinitron you see My son came round on Thursday and he foisted it on me It?s a lovely little telly and it has its own remote But its analogue, not digital, and worth precisely nowt.

I?ll put it in the kitchen or the dining room perhaps I?ll put it in the bedroom to wake me from my naps I could put it in the office to distract me from my toil But I?d have to buy a set top box to make it work at all.

I could use it as a footstool or perhaps a little table Or a thing that might one day perhaps possibly enable Me, or someone close to me, to make a bit of cash (There?s lots of crazy Japanese who?ll surely make a dash

To get a bit of national pride, ignoring the details Which are that this most lovely set was really made in Wales.) Meanwhile it sits and blocks the way along my downstairs hall I stub my toe; I curse and swear, I trip and sometimes fall.

The Media Museum said, ?No thanks, we?ve got sixteen!? I wondered about eBay but it isn?t worth a bean The bin men wouldn?t take it: what is their rationale? So as a desperate last resort I?ve lobbed it in t?canal!

Bill

Reply to
Bill Wright
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still good for analogue security cameras and elderly VCR's.

Reply to
therustyone

He could've just bought and connected a cheap freeview box and it would've got all the digital channels on the tv.

Reply to
bod

In message , Bill Wright writes

Nice:-)

The recycling persons here invariably say *everyone tells us their unwanted telly is in good working order*:-)

Reply to
Tim Lamb

British Heart Foundation shops still accept them:

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Reply to
mike

Blimey, I wish I'd thought of that! I'll get down t'canal when I've had me tea and see if I can fish it out and dry it off.

Bill

Reply to
Bill Wright

There's not much poetry in your soul is there?

Bill

Reply to
Bill Wright

I have no soul But I like your doggerel

Reply to
Gib Bogle

A better rhyme but much worse sentiment would be

I have no soul And I like my doggy's hole!

I'll get my coat.

Bill

Reply to
Bill Wright

I hope you don't mind my asking, but does that mean that you pronunce remote "remowt" or that you pronounce nowt "note"? Or is it just a not terribly close rhyme?

Good poem, either way.

Reply to
Bert Coules

Pedant.

It rhymes better than most "modern" poetry, which makes no attempt at rhyming at all.

Well done ArBill.

Reply to
Frank Erskine

It isn't a perfect rhyme, but here in S Yorks, where we are almost southerners, we pronounce nowt as note.

Thank you. The kindest comment from my family was, "Are you short of something to do?"

Bill

Reply to
Bill Wright

Did I mention that my grandma's cousin Louisa was named, I thought as a child, Ourlouisa?

Bill

Reply to
Bill Wright

anyway, it would have been just what some retro gamers needed for their ZX Spectrums as the modulator drifts and Trinitrons of the press little buttons type were nice as they had #AFC that could follow the drift quite nicely. Brian

Reply to
Brian Gaff

You are not going to let us really believe you lobbed it into the canal as mentioningof it here would mean instant conviction for something or other. grin.

Brian

Reply to
Brian Gaff

Thanks, Bill, that's interesting. And Frank Erskine, in what possible way is it pedantic merely to ask a question?

Reply to
Bert Coules

Ahh, the good ol' pikey rescue ;-)

I remember, somewhere around 1990, rescuing a VGA monitor from a decomissioned art installation. I was quite pleased - after I'd peeled the thick layer of paint off the face of the CRT - to find that it still worked. I ran it for a few years with its colourful case paintwork :-)

Reply to
Jules Richardson

I have a small flatscreen TV in our spare room, which doubles as my "home gym", and I use it each morning before breakfast, exclusively for watching content from my VirginMedia Tivo cable box while I hit the rowing machine (not being a fan of breakfast telly).

My reason for mentioning it is that I manage to do this by taking the digital VM box output from its SCART socket, converting it to an RF signal with a cheapo little box off ebay, and sending it up an old preinstalled coax cable to the spare room upstairs, where it enters the aerial socket of my digital TV - used exclusively in analogue mode!

(There might be a neater way of doing it, but it does produce a tolerable picture for the purpose, with the Tivo remote-controlled by an iphone app), and as VM are anal about not allowing you to distribute content around your own house, I don't know a better way!)

Reply to
Lobster

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Reply to
The Other Mike

Really? Blimey!

Bill

Reply to
Bill Wright

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